The Abysmal Dating Culture In The USA

By Andy

 

 



Sometimes, when I’m not fantasizing about insanely gorgeous foreign females coming to my city in droves or explaining to simpletons why The Terminator doesn’t stop somewhere to take a piss, I think about why I haven’t dated an American woman in over seven years. That may seem depressing, but actually, when I think of the last American psycho woman I dated, I am reminded of why I don’t date stateside anymore. The last American woman I dated was full of games, spitefulness, numerous issues and went from zero to f*ck off in ten seconds. A year after that debacle, I couldn’t even get a number from some bombshell whom I had thought was genuinely showing interest in me. This is only the tip of the iceberg in what is wrong with the dating scene in the USA.

Dating in the U.S. is ass backwards, dysfunctional and mediocre. Ok, it’s a downright disaster. The result is a dating scene that is a completely agonizing experience for men. This is the case because women have beyond plentiful dating options in America. Not only do they have too many choices, they are constantly getting approached by men, so they either do not like such attention and reject every man, or they are very selective, and simply like the attention and turning men down to feed their already colossal egos.

 

Men in America do not have such options and virtually no prospects for relationships because there is a scarcity of high-quality women in America. This is due to feminism and the obesity epidemic. American women have such ridiculously high and unrealistic standards, and are “independent” enough not to need a man, that they are weeding out several “losers” per week. No matter what a man says or does, he’s never good enough for women. As a result, an astronomical number of men are a dime a dozen in American culture and they stand a better chance of being attacked by a peanut butter-covered Pterodactyl than they do of getting a date.

There is simply too much competition in the American dating scene. Too many dudes are competing for too few chicks, so there is an imbalance, a screwed up and unfair ratio of single men to single women. The American dating landscape is like the job market: competitive, cynical, frustrating and harsh. So basically, a man has to bust his ass in school, break his balls working on that résumé while searching for work in a competitive job market, put himself on the line daily at that job he worked so hard to get, and when he’s not working, he gets to spend his personal life and free time in “the unemployment line,” competing with other men for the golden fleece. So, in a culture that shames and emasculates men, it’s all work and no reward.

 

If there is a reward, it is short-lived. What I mean is that if a man is fortunate enough to get a date with an attractive woman with a good personality and even be in a relationship with her, he has not only played enough games and his cards right during a very small window of opportunity, but he has walked a tightrope and passed numerous sh*t tests just to be with her. Or it was by chance and a stroke of luck, meaning the stars aligned perfectly and getting a date is once in a blue moon for him. But there is a high probability that the relationship won’t last because again, with the abundant dating choices women have in the U.S., the man will be treated like he is expendable. Whether or not he walks on eggshells in the relationship, she will most likely become bored for the silliest reasons and leave him, but not before she’s gotten some free dinners or cleaned out his bank account and everything he earned after a divorce from a marriage that lasted two years or less.

In the more likely scenario that a man lands a date with a marginally attractive or average woman, he has lowered his standards because he has given in to the American standard for dating and relationships, or he has become so sexually frustrated, that he has resorted to desperation for the sake of getting laid. He has also lowered his standards because the average woman he is with likely has a weight problem, so he has lost some of his pride because of his chubby chasing, and probably doesn’t have a problem taking her out to and unhealthy dining joint as long as he’s getting supposed companionship and physical satisfaction. Even if she doesn’t have a weight problem, she likely has issues like alcoholism, debt, drug abuse, mental illness and trauma from past relationships gone bad. She’ll be shady and two-faced so that she can conceal these problems at the start of the relationship, and once the man finds out, the relationship he is in is more of a dire situation than he ever anticipated.

Then there are men who have no pride, no standards and no shame, so they will date and screw anything with a pulse. Disturbingly, I have seen more of this over the years. I see seemingly normal men with hideous and obese girlfriends and I think to myself, “What could he possibly see in her?” Have standards plummeted to the point where the amygdala takes over and eliminates inhibitions in the name of chasing tail? I admit that whenever I see such a sight, I have to look away in disgust or laugh so hard, I have a back spasm.

When the aforementioned scenarios do not occur, men are subject to the most nightmarish, Twilight Zone-type dating endeavors and experiences. They find themselves in a kind of dystopia, a conundrum of no-win situations. Perilous paths toward disappointment, frustration, heartache, loneliness and squashed dreams are common. Finger-pointing abounds and fittingly, problems are never solved. One’s sanity and physical well-being are under attack in this maelstrom of fecal matter.

 

Good American women do exist, but they are the exception, not the norm. So, not only are such women extremely rare, but they are always taken. They have always been taken and, judging by the current state of affairs in the American dating landscape, they won’t be otherwise anytime soon. Even in the rare case that an attractive American woman without baggage is single, strange as that may seem, she is not single for long. Hence, the window of opportunity is very small for merely approaching her and asking her for a phone number.

 

Even if you’re a man successfully getting a phone number, chances are it will be bogus or she will purposely screen her calls just to play head games or because she subscribes to the fact that you are a creep by association. You’ll still have to treat getting a number like buying a gun; there has to be a waiting period until that first call, because showing too much interest is characteristic of a psychopath in her eyes. If she does manage to answer her phone, there is usually a, “I’ll call you back” which means never, and that she won’t want to speak to you ever again, regardless of how many dates you got with her. If she is not playing these sort of games, she can easily tell you that she’s seeing someone or has a boyfriend just to not have to deal with you any further or she cares enough about your ego not to damage it too much. When that doesn’t happen, she’ll tell you, ‘no’ with a side order of piss off, or she’ll ignore you like you don’t even exist.

 

To perpetuate this even further, there simply exists this fear of approaching women in America because of a woman’s demeanor, a shield, a kind of an aura she gives off that indicates she doesn’t want to be approached. If a man ignores this, he is more than likely to get berated in public or, even worse, get a fabricated sexual harassment or false rape claim against him, and sent to jail. The type of venues don’t matter either. If a woman doesn’t have at least two men talking to her at the gym, she wants to work out alone and probably has a big fat rock on her finger. Either that or her steroid-filled, tattooed boyfriend is lurking   somewhere close by and will rearrange you beyond belief and repair of you approach her.

That’s another preposterous issue in the American dating game; women not wanting anything to do with nice guys, or at the very least, treating them like absolute sh*t. Being kind good-hearted is not valued in the U.S. Remember, things are so ass backwards in America, that good is bad. So keep in mind that being a nice guy will get you nowhere and nothing. The guy in the backwards hat and Kobe jersey with the tattoos has priority over the guy who dresses well, grooms himself well, shows up to work regularly and on time, treats others with respect and takes care of his health.

 

Being nice also takes a back seat to materialism and superficiality. Far too often and too easily, women fall for a man with a six-figure income, fancy car and a huge house in the suburbs. If she is not chasing that, she is after his chiseled good looks. I’m talking about her standards being so high, the man has to be Calvin Klein model material or from Sparta. Either way, the lack of substance or character that a woman pursues is indicative of her shallowness and distance from reality.

What I’ve learned is that women rationalize such decisions by saying they want a man who will take care of them and who is also healthy. They desire someone who has the financial means to start and support a family, disregarding the fact that the man making all that money might not necessarily be the best husband or father. In the general sense, losers are also desired by women because women want a sense of adventure in such incomplete men. Women see such men as “projects,” seeing some potential behind all the alcoholism, cheating, drug abuse and juvenile behavior, and thinking they can change him. They would rather waste precious time on the worst of the worst and be treated poorly in hopes that he will change for her.
More often than not, the change she anticipates doesn’t happen and she ends up breaking up with Mr. Wrong because she says she wants a man, not a boy. Then comes the clamor of, “Where are all the good men?” and “Where are the real men?” She suddenly realizes the mistake she’s made of continually chasing the wrong men and starts scrambling to recover herself in time to locate the nice guy she put in the friend zone. She’ll claim that she was confused, had to find herself or didn’t even see such malicious things coming from the other bozos.

What women don’t realize is that by playing these kind of Mickey Mouse games, they are playing with fire. When it “grows out of control,” that is when any decent man they have chased off has moved on or possibly still waits for her. Women say they want nice men, but that is only partially true. The want a nice guy only after they have been f*cked over by their fair share of a**holes. At that point, they have learned their lesson, and whether or not the nice guy wants a used car with high mileage is entirely up to him.

We will now begin our descent into the land of the leftovers. Beware the cesspool of skanks, tanks and single mothers. After their efforts of chasing quality women have failed, this is all men have left to choose from in ‘Murika. This is the clearance aisle in the dating store. These are the consolation prizes for valiant efforts that went unrecognized by good girls. The worst tasting food item on the menu that nobody ever orders.

As much as attractive women are prime targets of many men, decent men are the focus of undesirable females. In my experience, I, not a world class athlete, but nowhere near Fat Albert size, have had to dodge a plethora of Plain Janes, has-beens, never-wases, also-rans and former Miss Dunkin’ Donuts contestants. The only time I have ever been approached by attractive women is when they “ambushed” me to introduce me to their friend who just got out of rehab or when they took me aside and subtly pointed out to me their plump friend. Even worse, some friends show me photos of their single friends and when I look at the photos, I can see why their friends are still single. Of course, I decline the sh*tty offers, and that is why the most unpleasant women in the dating scene have their own, albeit lousy representatives and “marketing departments.”

Unpleasant women, especially fat women, are pissed off that men aren’t approaching them and they will bitch about real men doing their own thing. From a man going to the movies on his own to a guys’ night out, such women are under some illusion that they should be a part of the action. They desire to lock down a man before the cat days arrive, yet they don’t want to make any improvements for themselves, they want men to accept them as is, and thus, offer nothing for a relationship. I was once invited to an awards banquet and was allowed to bring one guest, and before I could even start asking prospects, one woman, should have stayed away from the buffet table, gave me a presentation including a speech and photos, as to why she should be my date for that event. Needless to say, I respectfully declined, but the real reason this happened was because of not only the American dating mess, but the unfortunate fat acceptance movement.

You would think, after all this nonsense, that there would be some help, some hope or some sort of solution. There would have to be a light at the end of the tunnel. There would have to be some sort of conflict resolution. There is, but you won’t find it from your friends, family, books, magazines, television or around the corner. What ensues is more bullsh*t that exacerbates an already precarious situation.

What I’m talking about is being told that, “Oh, it’s not your time,” “You’re not looking hard enough or in the right places” or the classic “You just haven’t met the right one yet!” Notice how those saying such phrases fail to get to the root of the problem, and if there is a problem, it’s with you? Such a mentality may have worked when one reached legal drinking age, but when people still tell you that when you’re in your late 20’s and getting into your 30’s, that’s dangerous drivel. If you keep that mentality, at that rate, you ask, “when?” When you’re on your death bed? Then for icing on the sh*t cake, I hear that I have to stay positive, keep trying, keep my chin up, hang in there and to keep putting myself out there.

 

There’s really no strategy or lateral thinking involved in that, is there? It’s just support of the same ol’, same ol’. You know what I’ve found out about people who say things like this? They don’t want others to be happy. So, why listen to them?

Why listen to people who advocate relationships and marriage when they have already gone through a divorce? What’s the point of being under the impression that universities and shopping malls trump bars and clubs when all venues are equally bad for dating? Is it really wise to listen to people that advocate single life one minute, then months later ask why you’re not in a relationship? Are people so clueless and in denial about the elephant in the room?

I wonder if older generations of Americans are even aware that chivalry is dead and that there are more hang-ups about gender roles in the United States than in any other country. At least half of all marriages in the U.S. nowadays end in divorce. Because of a biased court system, 90% of divorces are initiated by women and 90% of the time, the child custody goes to women. It’s pretty sad that the success of a relationship pretty much depends on the flip of a coin. I’ll bet they’re having a hard time accepting the reality that younger generations are waiting until later in life to get married or are not getting married at all.

More Americans, particularly men, are reaching their breaking point and are starting to give less than a sh*t about dating. They see that it is such a demoralizing activity that is not worth the time, money or effort as there is no incentive. Many have been hurt and are lonely as a result of the damage dating has done. Some are even trapped in a well of their own depression. At least they are cutting their losses and looking out for number one.

A growing number of American men are refusing to accept the American way of relationships by seeing that the grass is greener on the other side. They are jumping ship. Not only have they reached their breaking point, but they are doing something about the problem. Conscious of the fact that there is a unlevel playing field in American dating, are heading overseas to date and are having much more success than they ever had back home. Heck, some are even coming back with legitimate marriage partners.

An awakening is happening and it is revealing that one’s destiny is determined by choice, not chance. This is definitely true in dating. It is much more logical to play the odds in your favor than wait for Halley’s Comet to fly by and give you the thumbs up. The reward is in the action, not inaction that you take. I, like many other men, just want to be in a happy relationship and I have taken the steps towards that kind of happiness; it's really not too much to ask.

I was told at a very young age that niceness meant something, but that turned out to be a complete horsesh*t lie. I tried being someone I was not, by putting up a front and playing games, but that proved to be awkward and unnatural. If I were to resume dating stateside, I would have to lower my standards. Then I remember what a train wreck the last American woman I dated was. Dating in the U.S. is a joke that nobody laughs at.