"If Taiwan is so friendly, then how come no one wants to be your friend?" - Winston, simple question that stumps everybody.
Dear All,
I don't understand something. Why does everyone or most people online claim that Taiwan is "very friendly" and that the people are very warm, open, wonderful, etc? For example, see these blog posts:
My big question about that is: How can Taiwan be friendly if no one wants to be your friend? And everyone ignores you and treats you like you don't exist? How is that friendly or warm or social?
Every time I ask that question to Taiwanese locals or pro-Taiwan foreigners, they get stumped and tongue tied and have no answer. Yet they continue to spout "Taiwan is friendly" like a parrot as though they were part of some religious cult and brainwashed. I don't understand what they're smoking.
Furthermore, how can Taiwan be friendly if:
1. No one wants to be your friend in Taiwan. There is an inner resistance to making friends or hanging out, as if everyone wants to be left alone and isolated and you are supposed to too. Same as in America, especially West Coast USA. I find Taiwan to be the most unfriendly country in Asia. Hands down. It feels very weird and awkward to even try to make friends in Taiwan, as if it's something unnatural and against the grain, like trying to walk upstream in a moving river. You feel as if you are trying to do something that you're not supposed to and not meant to be.
In Taipei, you can make some friends superficially through Meetup.com or Couchsurfing.org, but these are mostly superficial friendships or acquaintances. But go down south to Chiayi and it's impossible. Even the foreigners there or the Couchsurfers refuse to meet up. Everyone wants to be left alone and the people (including most foreigners) seem reclusive and socially diseased as though everyone is afraid to talk to you. Very creepy indeed.
Now if you wanna say that I must be the problem, then of course I will argue that the problem must be Taiwan, because I have no problem making friends or meeting people in most other countries I go to, and plus I am very outgoing and extroverted and confident too, if the culture allows me to be me, like it does in Russia or Philippines for example.
2. Everyone ignores me and treats me like I don't exist. Especially women and girls are super closed and cold. I feel like a ghost in Taiwan. No eye contact with strangers at all. I feel like I don't exist. Especially the girls are super closed, cold and cliquish. They have a very stuck up vibe that is not approachable at all. Out of the 15 countries I've been to, I find Taiwanese females the most unapproachable and stuck up, right up there with America. The girls and women in Taiwan NEVER look you in the eye, NEVER talk to strangers, NEVER have an open vibe, and always treat you like a ghost, as if you aren't even there. They are the most CLOSED women in the world, hands down. Sometimes elderly people in Taiwan will be nice and inquisitive and chit chat with me superficially, but never the girls. The difference between young and old in Taiwan is huge, but no one dares to talk about it. Again, if you wanna claim that the problem must be me, think again, and see the last part of #1 above.
3. Almost all the foreigners I see in Taiwan are either alone or with other foreigners. Not hanging out with local Taiwanese people. The only Taiwanese or Asians they hang out with are Americanized or Westernized Asians. I've taken pictures of foreigners who are either alone or with other foreigners in Taiwan to prove my point, if anyone wants to contest it.
4. If you think the problem is me, then let me ask you this: How come I don't have a problem meeting people or making friends in most other countries I've been to? Especially in Eastern Europe, Russia and Southeast Asia, in those areas I never have a problem. I got tons of videos and photos to prove it. So I got the hard proof to prove the problem isn't me. I only have a problem in socially closed countries like Taiwan, America and NE Asia, where people are workaholic, closed, don't talk to strangers, and the girls never flirt and aren't approachable.
So how can the problem be me if I don't have the same problems in most other countries and only in weird countries like Taiwan and America? In addition, I have good communication skills, good social skills, good people skills, am outgoing, am very articulate and assertive, confident, friendly, etc. Plus I have worked in marketing and sales jobs too, so I am fairly good with people and communication. I'm not a social dunce or shy by any means. So how can the problem be me?
5. Taiwanese themselves do not deny that their women are closed and not open to talking to strangers, when I bring it up to them. Even Taiwanese women will admit that if you ask them. So how can I be wrong if Taiwanese themselves admit that I'm right? Yet regardless, they still consider themselves to be "friendly people". Go figure. I guess their definition of friendliness is different than mine. They seem to see friendliness more as being polite, not as being social or open or wanting to hang out or date. Many on the internet define friendliness like that too, including westerners, which might explain why they find Taiwan to be "friendly".
6. I definitely sense a negative vibe in Taiwan, around people, especially women. They are very grim, sour, self-hating, negative, repressed, narrow minded, superficial, etc. That's definitely NOT a positive vibe at all. No way jose. It can't be my imagination either. I'm very spiritual and aware and highly conscious, so I am very sensitive to energy and vibes. Yet most people claim Taiwanese are very friendly and warm with a positive vibe. How can that be? Surely we all must be in our own universe or dimension. Because this is very Twilight Zone like.
7. I also cannot connect with people or have a normal conversation with Taiwanese, not even the ones in America. It has nothing to do with language, mind you, since I speak decent Taiwanese (the native dialect) and basic Mandarin. It's just that they are on a different wavelength and in their own world, one that's insular and narrow, which I don't connect with. In contrast, when I first went to Russia and didn't speak any Russian at all, I still felt natural chemistry, camaraderie and energy with the people there, especially the girls, who were very open, curious and fearless - in total contrast with Taiwan. To be honest, Taiwanese girls are super closed, cliquish, stuck up and not assertive at all. It seems impossible to connect with them and they don't even want to connect with me. Only elderly people in Taiwan are sometimes friendly and talkative. But definitely not young women or girls. No way. Usually I'm very good with girls except in the weird Taiwan matrix, where I can't even be myself. Hence it's very suffocating.
8. Everything feels very awkward, weird and inappropriate in Taiwan. I feel like I am not even allowed to exist in Taiwan, even living and breathing feels inappropriate in Taiwan. Yes, that's how bad it is, it's worse than you can imagine. It's hard to explain. It's a bizarro world with a REVERSE NEGATIVE POLARITY, where normal is abnormal, where being positive means you swim upstream against the current, because everything feels negative and self-hating and soul-sucking. No one in Taiwan acts confident, assertive, or outspoken, and if you do, you feel out of place. So you can't do anything or be anything. It's weird. I can't go anywhere without feeling awkward, as if I'm not supposed to exist, let alone be me. It's one thing for people to be unfriendly, closed, cold, ignore you or treat you like you don't exist. But it's another to feel awkward everywhere, as though you aren't supposed to exist or live or breathe there, because you simply are out of place and invalidated. It's very weird and hard to put into words. Have any of you felt that way anywhere? Or is it just me?
This just goes to show that what Americans and Truthers miss is that freedom is not all about government control. In Taiwan and Japan, the government does nothing and doesn't bother or bully people. Neither do the cops. No. The social culture there is what's restrictive and takes away your freedom and doesn't allow you to be yourself. In America it's similar. The social culture is what takes away your freedom to talk to strangers or flirt with girls or be yourself, etc not government. Also in America, you feel like your consciousness is highly controlled too, that's why you don't actually FEEL FREE in America, even if you are told you are free. It's not because federal agents and soldiers in America are pushing you around. It's because the overall vibe and culture and environment there tries to control your consciousness and mind, and you can feel it.
As former forum member Grunt said:
"If anyone feels they "come out of their shell" when overseas, try to keep something in mind. That person you are overseas is the real you. The person you are in America is a prisoner, nothing more."
That nails it. America and Taiwan do NOT allow you to ACT free and come out of your shell and be as extroverted and outgoing as you want (like I was in Russia). No way jose. America and Taiwan may TELL you that you are free because you have political freedoms, but you never feel free nor can you act free and be yourself as I was in Russia. There is no freespirited open vibe in America or Taiwan, that's for sure. So no matter how much they tell you you are free, you NEVER actually FEEL free. That's what you gotta understand. This is a bit hard to explain in words, but I've done my best. I'm sure some of you who feel the same way know what I mean.
9. Taiwan also takes away your normal confidence and self-esteem. For some reason, you just cannot feel confident or bold there. It's simply not allowed. The Taiwanese vibe and people always make you feel small, inadequate, weak, insecure, etc. Taiwan constantly downs you and puts you down - in a passive and subtle but real manner - with its self-hating vibe, so you never feel strong or confident. Especially if you're Asian, because Taiwan expects Asians to be weak, humble, obedient and self-hating. It's hard to explain what I mean, but that's the best way I can put it. Thus I cannot be my super bold confident self in Taiwan like I can in Russia or Eastern Europe or SE Asia. If you watch my videos on YouTube or HappierAbroad, you can see what I mean.
Whereas friendlier positive countries (like the ones I mentioned above) are like the yellow Sun to Superman for me, making me feel empowered, alive and vibrant, countries like Taiwan are like Kryptonite to Superman to me, taking away all my power and mojo, making me feel weak like I'm nothing. And also because I'm simply disliked, invalidated, avoided and ignored in Taiwan, which I can feel it too. Not because of anything I did wrong or because I'm a bad person. Far from it. But simply because I am disliked for who I am and what I am, which people can sense even if I try to hide it. It's not my imagination like my parents falsely claim. When people dislike you or think you are weird, you can definitely feel the negative vibe from them, especially if you're sensitive and spiritual like me. It's not your paranoid imagination. Being around similar people of like mind who empower you, is a totally different vibe which makes you stronger, than being around people who dislike you and have nothing in common with you and aren't on your frequency, like in Taiwan. That's for sure.
10. Even if you wanna consider "friendliness" to mean "politeness" as most Taiwanese do, it's still not true that all Taiwanese are polite. There are many people in Taiwan everywhere that look very grouchy, grim, angry, pissed off and ready to scold you for any reason, very on edge in other words. In my estimation, about 1/3 of Taiwanese are polite, while 1/3 look grouchy, grumpy, angry, on edge and pissed off and ready to scold you, and 1/3 are somewhere in the middle. That would be a fairly reasonable estimation I think. So it's definitely not true that everyone in Taiwan is "friendly or polite".
Yet no one draws this distinction like I do. Most people instead like to make positive generalizations, insinuating that all people in Taiwan are friendly, which is socially acceptable of course. It seems that positive generalizations are ok, but not negative ones. It's an obvious double standard of course. But we live in a world that is politically correct, not honest or truthful, so these kinds of double standards are to be expected. It's just that no one dares to point them out except me and very few others. Geez aren't I unique? lol
Now, the high percentage of grouchy angry people in Taiwan is not surprising, since Taiwan is a workaholic repressed country where one is not allowed to express themselves or be outspoken or think for themselves, similar to Japan, so no doubt there are a lot of miserable people and it shows on their faces and voices. The vibe and culture feel super restrictive too, like a negative polarity flow, where positivity runs upstream against the current, while negativity runs downstream with the current. Yet in spite of this, you are not allowed to talk about the negative vibes there at all. It's hard to explain, but that's the best way I can explain it. Simply put, you can't be yourself in Taiwan, or be extroverted or outgoing or open or confident - like you can in Bangkok, Pattaya, Angeles City, or Eastern Europe/Russia of course. You definitely can't be the you in those places if you're in Taiwan, that's for sure. Within your social clique you sometimes can, but not with strangers. No siree.
Bottom line:
So how does all of the above constitute being "friendly, warm and social"? I don't get it. I've been asking this question since 2009 but no one can give me an answer or even try to. Truly different people must be in a different universe. It's the only explanation for why people have vastly different experiences in any location. But you'd think that reality should be mostly objective. For example, we can all see the same red car in front of us or the same mountain in the distance. So I don't get it. Can anyone explain?
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