Finding a Good Woman on Date In Asia: Part II: Finding Your Good Woman

So you're actively avoiding the rotten apples of dateinasia.com (DiA) and all the trouble that entails. Now you want to directly find a good girl on there. Possible? Yes. Easy? No.

When it comes to dating sites, many guys ask a lot of questions that don't need to be asked. If you have to wonder about whether or not the girl showing cleavage and displaying a tattoo in her profile photo is a potentially good catch, then the problem is lack of common sense. When thinking about writing this article, I realized how much of it is really just common sense, which appears to be sorely lacking oftentimes. Common sense needs to be reiterated here. I will keep this post short and sweet and simple.

There are really only two things you need to remember when wife-hunting. One is about you, and one is about her. I'll get to these in a moment. Consider a few things first...

You need to have principles and you need to stick to your guns. Especially with online dating with Asians, it's too easy to fall into the kid-in-a-candy-store mentality. You'll need to avoid that trap, as it will make you make bad decisions.

More and more bad women are getting on dating sites these days, and you'll have your work cut out for you separating the wheat from the chaff. Westerners have reputations for accepting sluts, single moms, bar girls, and other bad females as girlfriends and even wives. You'll have to establish yourself as being different from the stereotype.

If you don't have plans to go to her country (assuming you find a worthwhile girl) then don't bother with online dating. If you don't have plans to go abroad, it's just masturbation.

If you've never been abroad and/or know nothing about the culture of the girl, things will be more challenging. It's obvious, but cultures really do vary. Philippine culture will feel more familiar to you if you're a white guy, but Chinese culture (and girls) may seem odd or cold until you come to understand it better. Things vary a lot. Not all foreign women are created equal.

So, the two simple things you need to remember about finding a good woman online...

1. Make sure you are actually looking for a good woman.

It's really damn obvious, but so many guys fail here. What are you really looking for? If you message single moms, bar-girls, girls showing cleavage and tattoos, etc. then you're not really looking for a good woman. You're looking for a slut. 

Her physical appearance will tell you a lot about her. Look for a wholesome, genuine, down-to-earth look. Read her profile before messaging her. What is educational and work background? Is she clearly trying to hide anything? Is her profile polite and respectful or abrasive and masculine? If she's a good girl, she'll pass the “duck test”: she'll look like a good girl and talk like a good girl. Make note of what she says about family: does she want kids? Is she clearly prioritizing family over concerns? Women are meant to be mothers – if she isn't interested in having a family, then you next her immediately. A woman not wanting children in the future is looking for something else, such as money or a green card. 

Before you start your search, KNOW what you are looking for.

2. Be a Good Guy Yourself

Again, should be very obvious, but many guys seem to miss this. Are you a good guy yourself? Are you looking to have a family one day or to just sleep around? You might be surprised at how good Asian women are at discerning this. It's no longer the case that being a white guy will get you any girl you want. Good girls are indeed much more wary of foreigners these days because of the reputation of mongers. So if you're a tattooed bad boy type, might as well stay home, or resign yourself to sluts abroad.

When you create your profile and upload photos, put your best foot forward. Again, very obvious, but I can't count the number of times I have seen guys make shitty profiles. One liners, profiles devoid of any info, bad spelling and punctuation, unflattering photos, etc. are incredibly common. It astounds how many guys don't take the time to make a good profile on dating sites. Aside from uploading good photos of yourself (remember: light-hearted, not serious) you need to write a good profile. This will also help the good women find you, while signaling to the bad ones to back off. So what should you write in your profile? Write your intentions, some things things about yourself (hobbies, job, etc.), and what you are looking for. (And write more than one line for each thing!) When you write what you are looking for, also include what you are NOT looking for! This will serve to keep away the bad women from sending you messages and wasting your time. For example, you could mention that you are looking for a modest girl, and then include that if you see a girl's profile with photos of cleavage, tattoos, low-cut shirts, etc. that you will not message her nor will you respond to messages from her. What you write will help you weed out bad women before they even decide to drop messages in your inbox.

And that, ultimately, is all you need to know. It's easy to get stuck in the mindset of having to jump through hoops to find women if you've never left the anglo-zone. But this is foreign dating, where nice guys have a clear advantage – if they are really nice guys. And bad boys will be at a severe disadvantage finding any woman worth flying to.

That's all you need to know. Good luck gentlemen.