By Winston Wu
For some reason, virtually critics of America nowadays only talk about government tyranny, conspiracies, or economic problems and issues, as if those are the only things wrong with America and everything else is fine. But nothing could be further from the truth. When you walk around any US city or suburb, you will see many depressed looking guys with hopeless looks on their faces, as if they have nothing to live for and have been numbed down to not care or not feel anymore. It's a very sad sight to see.
But this isn't all due to economic problems like low salaries or lack of work. There are far deeper problems that affect happiness in freedom that you aren't allowed to talk about, which we talk about freely on Happier Abroad. Here are three examples related to dating, social life and mental health, which are just as important as economic issues if not more important, for obvious reasons. They are three negative social truths in America that you aren't allowed to talk about and are taboo to bring up.
1. There is no authenticity in the people and culture of America. The fakeness is too extreme. There's too much phoniness and hype. Authenticity is extremely lacking and people act plastic. You can't be yourself and you can't be genuine. If you don't act fake you will be told that you aren't cool or confident enough. That's why there are so many posers and douchebags in America. If you are authentic and down-to-earth, you will feel like a misfit, like there's something wrong with you. It's very upside down. Only old people and senior citizens in the USA are down to earth and genuine.
America is unmatched in the world when it comes to extreme fakeness and phoniness, no other country compares in that area. In addition, the extreme arrogance in the USA is unparalleled as well. In contrast, people in the rest of the world act more modest and down-to-earth in comparison, and not as fake. You will notice this as soon as you leave the US or come back to it.
What this means is that if you have to be fake and phoney to fit in, then you are not free to be yourself in America, which is the biggest lack of freedom there is, far beyond any government control. This no doubt contributes to America having the highest rate of mental illness in the world, which is well documented. Having to be inauthentic splits you from your true self, resulting in an unhealthy schism that fragments you psychologically.
2. There is no social connection with other people in America. The environment is lonely and isolating. An unnatural, artificial, paranoid, tense, vibe permeates the atmosphere and environment. It's harder to make friends in than in other countries. Dating and social life don't come naturally or smoothly at all, like they do in most other countries where they flow more freely. There is an ice barrier between strangers (hence the term "breaking the ice"). People don't talk to strangers or others unless it's business related. Without a business related purpose, there's no reason to talk to people -- which is weird and unnatural, as humans are social creatures and not meant to be solitary.
The social vibe feels closed, cliquish and negative. People seem unnaturally uptight, tense and paranoid. They have a "mind your own business, don't bother me" attitude. You often get this feeling that something is off about all this, but you can't seem to put your finger on it (until you visit Happier Abroad of course). There is also this constant depressing feeling that no one really cares about you. So if you are a sensitive or deep person, you suffer the most especially.
3. The women in the US have the worst attitude and fakest personality in the world. Hands down. It's difficult to even have a normal conversation with women there, let alone date them. The US is the hardest country to find decent women to date. The way women act and their attitude is horrifying, cold and mean-spirited. They are so unfriendly and standoffish. It's worse than you can imagine, if you've never been to America. No joke. Their personalities are the fakest and most toxic too. Even the females in England are more down-to-earth and less arrogant.
If you're a decent nice good guy, you have no value to women there. You have to look like a bad boy, douchebag, poser, thug, gangster, or be in the top 10 percent in either looks, status or money, for US women to give you attention and consider dating you. Either that, or you have to settle for someone unattractive, since decent women are scarce or unavailable. Or you have to find someone in high school or college, because once you get out of school, everyone minds their own business and talking to strangers becomes a taboo in the cold adult world of America.
In spite of all this, you are required to put on a fake smile everyday in the USA and say that you are "doing great" 24/7. Go figure. In order to fit into American culture, you have to act fake, arrogant, pretend everything is great, and pretend that you don't need anyone. But if you are too sensitive, deep or genuine, you are like a fish out of water in America.
Here's the bottom line: Being honest and genuine, and being free to be yourself, as well as free to pursue friendships and relationships with other people, is the real meaning of freedom. Without that, there is no true freedom.
Thus America is very unfree, not just because it has a tyrannical government or the highest number of laws in the world, but because of all the above as well. "Land of the free" my a**. But you can't even talk about all this because it's denied. Instead, you are only allowed to either 1) pretend that everything is great and deny the above, or 2) blame yourself, neither of which accomplish anything or make you happy. America falsely assumes that all that matters is having a career and making money, because dating and social life and fakeness are not an issue or problem at all, so none of the above exist. This constitutes a huge denial. Nowadays, America much more resembles "the land of denial" rather than "the land of the free".
Even America's critics in the media and online, do not talk about the above, because it's too taboo and politically incorrect. All that they are allowed to criticize are politically correct issues -- such as politics, government policy, economic problems, and the weather of course. But not about lack of dating or social life, the toxic culture, loneliness, or not being free to be yourself. No way, those subjects are way too taboo. So in that sense, what we talk about at Happier Abroad is even more taboo than Anti-Semitism or Racism. We are perhaps the king of taboos. That's what being too truthful gets you. When truth becomes a taboo, you know you are not living in a free society. So we hope you love the truth as much as we do.
The greatest self-help secret that America doesn't want you to know is that the solution to all these problems above lies Abroad. And that's the good news gospel we want to share with you. If you haven't yet, please see: 5 Ways Your Life Will Be Transformed Abroad.
As an Englishmen living in the States and have been since I was 14 everything you said hits home run...
ReplyDeleteYeah but isn't it funny how something so obvious is never talked about just because it's taboo? You are supposed to blame yourself instead of seeing all the above it seems. Weird. What happens if you try to show your friends and family the three negative social truths above? How do they react I wonder? Most mainstream people will ignore it or admit there's some truth to it. That's all.
DeleteRichard, what is England like in terms of the three social truths above compared to America? I have heard mixed things about that.
DeleteIn my view all your points can be used to describe other western countries too. Its just even more obvious in the USA because its the leader of the Western world.
ReplyDeletenice post
ReplyDeleteYes..
ReplyDeleteOnce I really started spending time abroad for work, I was really surprised to see how different it was in terms of relationship dynamics. It was an eye opener to be sure.
Things that you take for granted as the norm are not actually so in much of the world. Back in the States a woman is hot and thinks she's something just because she's not obese, LMAO, MOST of the world isnt obese once you get out, and women don't have that halo effect and actually treat man like human beings not ATMs.. They are totally willing to meet you more than halfway.. Dress well, don't ever think they have a man now so they can stop looking out for themselves. They appreciate you and want to do nice things FOR YOU not just receive all the time. My Chinede GFs used to always want to take my clothes home to do my laundry even though I had an expense account that paid for the laundry. They just wanted to do nice things to show they could take care of me as an expression of their love.
After much time spent overseas, you go back home and really can't understand why you've been beating your head against a wall with the home girls when its SO much nicer overseas.
My now and for the rest of my life wife is an amazingly beautiful Chinese girl who is by all Chinese accounts a TIGER wife, but compared to my old American wife she's a lamb and treats me so well I cant believe my "luck" but really luck has nothing to do with it. I just smartened up and broadened my horizons a bit then found what Id always been looking for just wasn't the American norm.. It is in much of the rest of the nonWestern world though.
Good post...