Do It For Yourself

By Andy

The other day I recalled one of my trips abroad. It was just over a year ago, when I was out on a date, at a café in Eastern Europe, having a pleasant conversation with a beautiful Slavic woman. In the middle of our lovely chat, out of nowhere, from across the table, she commented on my muscles. She said she liked muscles, and was so impressed by mine. Now, I’m not a bodybuilder nor do I have the body to compete in a competition or be a model, but I do work out on a regular basis, and look decent for someone who has spent the last few years erasing many more years full of bad habits and poor diet. 

So, I decided to flex my biceps for her, right there at our table. She only continued smiling and was further impressed. I figured since she noticed and complimented the work I was putting in at the gym, why not flaunt it? Not to divulge too many details, but as an added bonus, the latter part of the night featured a kiss from her. That is one of the things I've learned in this fitness journey, at some point, your going to get some attention, and some reward whether you like it or not. 

Now, before I took that trip, I was working out not only because I wanted to be in decent shape for all the walking I would be doing, the hills I would likely encounter, and the running to the gate to make my flight, but because I wanted to do it for my own benefit. Notice how I didn’t mention the women. That’s because when you exercise, regardless of whether it’s crossfit, MMA, the gym, your nearest trail, etc., the goal of you working out should not be what women think or want. It shouldn’t be what your mom, cousins or friends want. It doesn’t matter if you’re a beginner, intermediate or advanced bodybuilder or if you’re trying to completely transform your body; the goal of working out is for YOUR benefit. 

Everything else is secondary and a bonus. It takes care of itself. Yes, I want to look good for the ladies overseas, and I could care less what the stateside gordas and femicunts think when I walk by, even though they have no chance. The healthier I feel and look, the better my dating prospects. I know I’ll get more attention and feel better about myself if I take more photos actually featuring me, considering all the hard work I've put in, pumping iron.

I’m doing the exercises, five days a week, for my health, for my benefit, and for me. I don’t worry about what anybody else thinks I should look like, or what kind of workouts they want me to do. It’s my body, my life, and I’m the one putting in the work at the gym. I’m the one undoing years of poor diet, bad lifestyle habits and eating decisions. Consistency is my weapon against complacency.

I remember a forgettable incident of ancient history when I was angry and dejected, after being rejected by a woman I really liked, I cranked up the intensity and frequency of my workouts. For a while, it was great that I turned my anger into energy, but I was improving my health out of anger, and to one day “show her” via social media photos, what she was missing out on. Well, some time had passed and I looked significantly better in my photos I posted from another trip I just so happened to take, but I had grown up, and was already over that incident, and spiting her wasn't my priority, and not the way to go about things or live life. Besides, in the midst of all that workout insanity, I twisted the same ankle, twice. I learned that when you let your emotions take over, stuff like that usually happens.

Yes, she was liking the hell out of my photos and kissing my ass in her messages to me, but I didn't give a shred of a shit about her. I had moved on, and was just posting the photos to share with friends, family and acquaintances like her to show what I was up to, and that I was having a good time, taking a trip for ME. I didn’t care what she thought or said. That incident was in the past, and I was moving forward. Case closed.

I really don't care what kind of comments get posted about my social media photos and I don't care what kind of comments people post on this blog. Everyone is going to have an opinion regardless of what I say or do. Some are going to like what I say, others won't. We can agree to disagree. You can't please everyone, but before you think about others or what they want or think, first think about what YOU want.

Whether I dress respectable or like a bum, I dress the way I want to dress, not how a woman thinks I should dress. No fuckin' way I'll let a woman, or anyone for that matter, chose my wardrobe for me. I don’t care what she thinks about the colors or styles I wear. I don’t do what old timers think I should do about chivalry or a career. I won’t visit a place just because someone says I should go there. 

I’m not expecting to have the ladies bowing down to me upon my arrival in some foreign land, getting on their knees, ready for some worship. I’m not an athlete and I'm not a model. Far from it, actually. I don't build muscle and get shredded because I think that's what the women want, I do it for me. What I do strive for is progress and to be a better, healthier version of myself. 

I know when I travel to some country, it's to broaden my mind and experience something different, not flash my money and passport, hoping the chicks will all flock to me. Yes, showing up is half the battle, when it comes to international dating, but if you're flaunting material possessions, you’re no better than some fat expat or stateside douchebag who wears a backwards baseball cap, pink polo with a popped collar and drives his old man's Mercedes. Non-gold diggers aren’t that easy or shallow, but their standards aren’t ridiculously high, either. You’ll get the dates, don’t worry. Don’t worry about the attention, wanted or otherwise, from photos, that will all take care of itself. 

Don’t go abroad because you think The Happier Abroaders are gonna come after you if you don't. We're not, don't worry. We're just trying to show you a world you probably never thought existed, and we want you to see it for yourself. Whether it's a career, fitness or travel, do it for your benefit, not somebody else's approval. Everything else will take care of itself in due time. 

Before you can take care of others, be sure you can take care of yourself. Know what you want and find out what gives you joy before spreading the love. Don't forget about yourself.