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Finding a Good Woman on Date In Asia: Part II: Finding Your Good Woman
So you're actively avoiding the rotten
apples of dateinasia.com (DiA) and all the trouble that entails. Now
you want to directly find a good girl on there. Possible? Yes. Easy?
When it comes to dating sites, many
guys ask a lot of questions that don't need to be asked. If you have
to wonder about whether or not the girl showing cleavage and
displaying a tattoo in her profile photo is a potentially good catch,
then the problem is lack of common sense. When thinking about writing
this article, I realized how much of it is really just common sense,
which appears to be sorely lacking oftentimes. Common sense needs to
be reiterated here. I will keep this post short and sweet and simple.
There are really only two things you
need to remember when wife-hunting. One is about you, and one is
about her. I'll get to these in a moment. Consider a few things
You need to have principles and you
need to stick to your guns. Especially with online dating with
Asians, it's too easy to fall into the kid-in-a-candy-store
mentality. You'll need to avoid that trap, as it will make you make
More and more bad women are getting on
dating sites these days, and you'll have your work cut out for you
separating the wheat from the chaff. Westerners have reputations for
accepting sluts, single moms, bar girls, and other bad females as
girlfriends and even wives. You'll have to establish yourself as
being different from the stereotype.
If you don't have plans to go to her
country (assuming you find a worthwhile girl) then don't bother with
online dating. If you don't have plans to go abroad, it's just
If you've never been abroad and/or know
nothing about the culture of the girl, things will be more
challenging. It's obvious, but cultures really do vary. Philippine
culture will feel more familiar to you if you're a white guy, but
Chinese culture (and girls) may seem odd or cold until you come to
understand it better. Things vary a lot. Not all foreign women are
So, the two simple things you need to
remember about finding a good woman online...
Make sure you are actually looking
for a good woman.
It's really damn obvious, but so many
guys fail here. What are you really looking for? If you message
single moms, bar-girls, girls showing cleavage and tattoos, etc. then
you're not really looking for a good woman. You're looking for a
Her physical appearance will tell you a
lot about her. Look for a wholesome, genuine, down-to-earth look.
Read her profile before messaging her. What is educational and work
background? Is she clearly trying to hide anything? Is her profile
polite and respectful or abrasive and masculine? If she's a good
girl, she'll pass the “duck test”: she'll look like a good girl
and talk like a good girl. Make note of what she says about family:
does she want kids? Is she clearly prioritizing family over concerns?
Women are meant to be mothers – if she isn't interested in having a
family, then you next her immediately. A woman not wanting children
in the future is looking for something else, such as money or a green
Before you start your search, KNOW what
you are looking for.
Be a Good Guy Yourself
Again, should be very obvious, but many
guys seem to miss this. Are you a good guy yourself? Are you looking
to have a family one day or to just sleep around? You might be
surprised at how good Asian women are at discerning this. It's no
longer the case that being a white guy will get you any girl you
want. Good girls are indeed much more wary of foreigners these days
because of the reputation of mongers. So if you're a tattooed bad boy
type, might as well stay home, or resign yourself to sluts abroad.
When you create your profile and upload
photos, put your best foot forward. Again, very obvious, but I can't
count the number of times I have seen guys make shitty profiles. One
liners, profiles devoid of any info, bad spelling and punctuation,
unflattering photos, etc. are incredibly common. It astounds how many
guys don't take the time to make a good profile on dating sites.
Aside from uploading good photos of yourself (remember:
light-hearted, not serious) you need to write a good profile. This
will also help the good women find you, while signaling to the bad
ones to back off. So what should you write in your profile? Write
your intentions, some things things about yourself (hobbies, job,
etc.), and what you are looking for. (And write more than one line
for each thing!) When you write what you are looking for, also
include what you are NOT looking for! This will serve to keep away
the bad women from sending you messages and wasting your time. For
example, you could mention that you are looking for a modest girl,
and then include that if you see a girl's profile with photos of
cleavage, tattoos, low-cut shirts, etc. that you will not message her
nor will you respond to messages from her. What you write will help
you weed out bad women before they even decide to drop messages in
And that, ultimately, is all you need
to know. It's easy to get stuck in the mindset of having to jump
through hoops to find women if you've never left the anglo-zone. But
this is foreign dating, where nice guys have a clear advantage – if
they are really nice guys. And bad boys will be at a severe
disadvantage finding any woman worth flying to.
I'm an EFL teacher in China. I've traveled to several countries and would like to travel to many more. I have written two books: Boxes and Expatriation Apocalypse! A Guide to Expatriation for the Broke and Hopeless.