It wasn't until I was in college and even shortly after college, and ever since then that I really started "living." My workaholic Dad was shocked that I was taking road trips on my days off from work or school, and that the road trips increased in frequency. If I mentioned anything other than school, he was shocked from having such a one-track mind, that nothing else registered. To him, coming from the old country and a different generation, I should have started looking for a wife, and then started working on giving him grandchildren right after my college graduation ceremony ended. I was supposed to stay the course, forgo enjoying my free time and live the American Dream.
Now, I wasn't being irresponsible, but I was partaking in things I never did before. Whether they were good ideas or not, I missed out on concerts and parties, and the only road trips I took while living under my parents' roof, were family vacations. Just to give you an idea of how bad it was, I couldn't even go out on a date without having to reluctantly play 20 questions with my old man. My retort was I that I wasn't ditching class or calling in sick to work on a regular basis, but I was just working hard, and playing harder. I was actually making up for lost time.
It still screws with my head that a woman who looks like a model and doesn’t think of herself as the most beautiful in the land, genuinely thanks me for meeting her for a date, and is genuinely happy to see me or even hear from me. I keep telling myself that not all women are scammers and gold diggers, but I still don’t let down my guard. At the conclusion of my date or my trip, I feel revitalized, but I also feel a mix of emotions. Foreign women ask why I can’t find a girlfriend or wife in the States, and upon me telling them, they are shocked. Some are also shocked that I’ve never been married or how my looks, not even model-like or bodybuilder but still decent, would warrant my ex-girlfriends dumping me or local women not even acknowledging my existence.