Tuesday, January 14, 2014

15 Things I've Noticed About American Women

By Andy

Years ago, upon returning home from an extensive amount of time abroad, I started viewing my country much differently than I ever had before. One of the things that really stood out to me and roused my ire was American women. Having been exposed to other cultures and interacting with foreign women, I now had a reference point for which to formulate a basis of comparison, something I never had or could do previously. In addition to learning more about myself, I gained a deeper yet eye-opening understanding about the culture in which I was born and raised. This is my perspective on the species that is American women via my experiences and keen observations. 

1.  The typical American woman is fat.

This is the most blatantly obvious and glaring observation about American women. They struggle mightily with their health and appearance. Take a stroll around Anywhere, USA, and you will find that Jabba the Slut, land whales and pigs in wigs are the norm, endangering men's libidos and digestive systems, and wreaking havoc on furniture and the healthcare system. 

They are unhealthy and do not take care of themselves. Not only do they not take care of themselves, but they don't give a sh*t what they eat or how much they eat. A gym is like some distant planet to most of them. They are delusional enough to think that looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man's cousin is beautiful and perfectly acceptable. 

You can't even imagine how many times I've heard statements from women in public and at work like "We don't care what we eat!" and proud declarations such as "I can eat anything I want!" American women haven't the slightest clue, after waddling only a few steps to their vehicles that they can barely get into to make their daily run to Dunkin' Donuts, why they can't get a man or even get men to notice them. They also can't figure out the cause of their labored breathing and persistent cough that keeps them awake at night and annoys the f*ck out of everyone around them. The feminist movement sure had most American women leaving the kitchen for McDonald's and processed foods. 

In addition to there being very few skinny women as a result, there are very few American women who admit that they are fat or have a weight problem. Also, for every one American woman who has, or claims to have a thyroid problem or "condition", rest assured that there are hundreds more using that as a cop-out to cover up their bad eating habits and laziness.  

With this fat acceptance movement unfortunately gaining steam and barring a general shift in American women's attitudes towards their health, the obesity epidemic among women in America is only getting worse and is further diminishing the already mediocre dating landscape.

2.  American women have very bad attitudes.     

Simply put, the vast majority of American women are bitches. They are rude for no reason, confrontational, defiant, demanding, standoffish, crazy and are angry 99% of the time. They are impatient and scoff at just about anything. It is no surprise that they are unapproachable, and to be in their presence is a nightmare and would make a man run for the hills, or the airport. In the extremely rare instances where they are nice, it's easy to sense the bitch behind the curtain due to the shakiness in their voices; they are playing nice just get what they want. 

American women generally think that being nice is a sign of weakness and that being a bitch is what gets things done. They think it's a sign of strength and if you don't like it, you can't handle a "real" woman and can f*ck off. Disturbingly, some men like a bitch, a woman with an "attitude." It seems such men like "strong" women and a challenge. It also seems that such men are suffering from missing balls syndrome. Personally, I've never viewed being a bitch as attractive, romantic or sexy. 

It is little wonder then, why American women are unapproachable. This attitude is off-putting and only brings out the worst in people. When walking down the street or while grocery shopping, instead of "excuse me," I commonly hear, "get out of my way," or nothing at all which clearly indicates that an American woman thinks she owns the place, that nobody else matters, and that she has no obligation to be sincere. Few American women will admit they they are bitches and the ones that don't are severely lacking in self-awareness. Either way, they seem content on not changing in this respect.

3.  American women have the worst fashion sense in the world.

It baffles me as to why American women generally view being out in public as one big slumber party. But this is the reality of today's American fashion scene.  In America it is common to see women dressed in pajamas and sweatpants at the bank, the post office, the store and even at work. Flip-flops and ugly Uggs are their preferred footwear, and nothing else. At best, they will dress themselves in jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, which is their version of dressing for the occasion, which usually means going out for a night of excessive alcohol consumption. 

Regardless of what they wear, their clothing is either too big or too small for their size. There are exceptions to this rule, but you'll be hard-pressed to find a well-dressed American woman. Of the well-dressed women that I have seen in America, I've noticed that they are usually hefty and really don't carry themselves well. It's like putting lipstick on a pig. You can't really blame such a woman for trying, but when she neglects her health it doesn't really matter what she wears. Dogsh*t covered in frosting is still dogsh*t. I know you can't judge a book by its cover, but when I see a woman dressed as such, I can only think that she is a shameless soul who is lacking pride in her appearance and has no respect for herself. 

4.  Their extreme arrogance.

American women are the most pretentious women on earth. They have inflated egos, a princess syndrome. Their elitist attitude causes them to believe that there is little or no work required of them. They generally think that simply because they are women, they are worthy of everything; and that other people should just provide for them in an instant. They think that it's okay to enter a parking lot via the exit that reads "Do Not Enter" and that it's acceptable to run red lights and stop signs. I've seen such occurrences numerous times and the culprits were almost always women. 

They think that they should get the best jobs that they are not qualified for. I have had jobs where I dealt with female colleagues who said rubbish like, "Well, I'm a nurse, so I don't have to do that," or "My name is__, so that should qualify me as the best person for the job." I also heard such repeated drivel from a group of unpleasant female colleagues like, "Nobody came to get us for the meeting," despite constant reminders well in advance that meetings were mandatory and monthly. I've even had the displeasure of walking down narrow hallways countless times, only to encounter a fatso gal coming my way and not even making an effort to move because she was so fat, she took up nearly the entire space of the corridor. 

They definitely feel that they are greater than they really are. For example, an American woman who is a six, thinks she's an eight. They do believe that big is beautiful and that men should lower their standards for a woman. They want men to accept them for all their faults, for they think they're so righteous and above everyone else, and that that alone should be enough to bring to the table in a relationship.

5.  Their selfishness.

The societal changes during the last few decades have definitely led to a better way of living and monetary independence for American women. Too bad that during the process they forgot about others and everything else around them. 

American women are off in their own world, completely full of themselves and lacking in teamwork. I've completely lost track of the number of times I've heard them ALWAYS putting their needs and desires before those of others and offering NOTHING but a fecal sandwich in return. It comes as no surprise that they know diddly squat about pleasing men, being in committed relationships, being good mothers or good companions. 

One would think that they would at least take care of themselves as a result of their independence, but as I stated previously, American women are failing in the responsibility department. I've also noticed their attention whoring on social media with selfies and posts indicating nearly everything they are doing such as waking up, going to the movies and going to bed. As if the rest of the world actually gives a raccoon's nutsack about such activity. "It's all about me" is not just a phrase on a t-shirt, it's the American woman's mantra.

6.  American women are generally immature.

The more time I spend in the U.S., the more I see it as one big daycare center thanks to American women and their obnoxious, irresponsible and childish behavior. I've noticed that most American women are still stuck in their teenage years or even worse, their pre-adolescent years. I've definitely seen plenty of 40-something women acting like they just graduated from elementary school. They are definitely caught up in voluntary retardation. 

For example, their abuse of the word "what" by responding to questions in a loud and childish manner. "Waaat?!" Talk about acting like spoiled brats and petulant children. If anyone fell asleep in manners class, it's American women. When they are not cursing like a drunken Oscar the Grouch, even to their children, they are using gangster parlance. Yes, grown women not even from impoverished areas speaking like they are rappers. Their laughter at the highest decibel level accompanied by incessant and asinine chatter is something that unpleasantly distinguishes them from other women. That and that cringe-inducing nasal accent. They chew food with their mouths open and talk with their mouths full. When they're finished with their unhealthy meals they burp, fart and laugh about it afterwards. 

I've heard very young grandmas encourage and perpetuate the childish acts of their children and grandchildren who take after them in nearly every sense imaginable. Nice parenting there. When they are distraught, they say such things aloud like, "I'm tired" and "I want my mommy." I once saw a woman walking out of a restroom still pulling up and fastening her pants. Now tell me; when has that ever been feminine? 

Now, I don't know about you, but when I think of such aforementioned behavior, I think of a bunch of young males goofing off or Johnny Knoxville and Co. causing mischief. Why would one ever want to be in a relationship with or marry these satires? If American women are so childish, do you really want to marry one of them and be a "single parent?" It would make sense that the only group of people who should be acting like children, are children, but American women opted for the Peter Pan route instead. At best, it takes them an achingly long time to grow up, if ever.

7.  American women usually make terrible bosses and co-workers.

Petty behavior. Zero productivity. All in a day's work. The credo of the TV series "The Office" is also that of American female bosses and co-workers. More often than not, American women are a pain in the ass in the workplace. Female co-workers are lazy and incompetent, and will focus all their efforts and company time playing things slyly by kissing ass to compensate for their lack of skills and productivity. I have worked with complete imbeciles with no qualifications, that only got the job because they knew someone in the company. It didn't help that those in charge were such slobbering doofuses to settle for such loserdom by hiring such money-losing cancers. 

I've seen that they come to work for the paycheck, screwing off and spiting others, and forgetting about simply getting the job done. In their arsenal of annoyance, distraction and mediocrity are incessant and loud socializing, ear-piercing laughter, constant absenteeism, singing and humming, foot-tapping/stomping, gum-snapping, mobile phones going off loudly and vibrating like small motors, personal phone calls on company time and disappearing acts from desks via extended and unauthorized breaks. 

They typically start their day with an attitude of defeatism, yet bullsh*t themselves into thinking all is well in the workplace. They will resent you for getting them caught and ruining their party; not being able to screw around on the clock. But they will make it seem like something is wrong with you, that you are the cause of the problem. Any time I have ever called out a female colleague on something that was her fault or a job she failed to do, she immediately became defensive and resorted to copouts and redirected blame, always on me. Women hate accountability, so they treat it like something foreign by pointing fingers at others in order to preserve their reputation. 

The hell that is a female-dominated workplace results in an absence of teamwork, lack of responsibility and no sense of community because selfish American women in the workforce usually means selfish employees. Female management is no better, either. Whether they are managers, assistant managers, upper management or human resources, they are not in their positions to lead, but to abuse power. When they are not micromanaging, they will deny problems while letting them get worse and then six months later say that there is the same problem because they can't stand such undermining from subordinates. In my work experience, female bosses have gone out of their way and worked in conjunction with certain female employees to get me to fail, even after I had been hired. From having a dusty desk first day on the job to phones that don't work, their methods are subtle and systematic. If you are a man in a workplace that is mostly women, nobody will support you or let you reach your full potential; it's all a game to them, not a job. They think a man's plight is funny, so they want to be entertained. 

Despite skills, qualifications and consistently producing stellar results, top performers are picked on the most by female bosses in order to pander to the interests of the weakest links they fail to fire. Female bosses do not like productivity, they desire drama. If their "tests" are passed, they only become angrier and will make sure the top performers are miserable with the worst working conditions. The end result is that "A" players get so mad that they either get fired or quit, causing a brain drain on the company. 

I once complained to a female boss about work not being done while I was gone on vacation, despite me being way ahead on my work right before I left. Somehow, she magically made it seem that what didn't get done in my absence, that I had no control over, was my fault. Never mind that I came back from a well deserved period of time off and a coincidental bereavement that ensued. 

Female bosses are very condescending and cynical, and will try to nail you on anything and everything simply because they don't like you. They will reach to and scrape the depths of the earth to find dirt on you, especially if you are a man. During job interviews or when a new manager comes on board, they will discount everything you've ever done in your career and for the company. They will do things their way, even if their way runs the department or company into the ground. It's power to them. The rest is meaningless. If you've ever wondered why companies tank, it's typically because female management is managing, not leading. In my years of working I've had many bosses and all but one was a male. My best bosses were one female who "got it" and one male. Granted there are some good female bosses and co-workers out there who will have your back in the workplace and form reputable references and long-lasting friendships, but they are rarities. 

8.  Materialism and superficiality define the American woman.

Too many times over the years, I've heard American women demand that a man have a six-figure income, live in a McMansion and drive whatever the f*ck is in the latest James Bond flick in order to even date them. In addition to that, they present a different version of themselves when meeting potential suitors. This is just to reel them in or at the very least, play head games for their own personal amusement.  American women are engulfed in getting status and possessions, not caring about character, love or respect. The result is someone who is soulless, not providing much to a relationship or contributing to society. 

9.  American women can't cook. 

Few American women have mastered the culinary arts. Even fewer make any attempts to learn to make simple meals or even brew a cup of freakin' coffee. I've only ever known one American woman who admitted to not knowing how to cook and was willing to learn how, and that was right before she got married.  That's it, one woman. All others I've known avoided the kitchen unless it was to microwave leftovers from ladies' night out at some chain restaurant. 

American women are too busy stuffing their faces at fast food joints and consuming overpriced drinks at Starsucks to even try to make a home-cooked meal. Yes, they're busy working those jobs, too, but sooner or later they're going to realize that eating out all the time puts a strain on their budgets as well as their waistlines. 

10.  The typical American woman is tattooed.

This pathetic excuse for art has become a value among American women. Too many American women are adamant on this trend just for the sake of "fitting in." It appears they want to be as baddass as the badasses they try to attract or they just want to get noticed. Regardless of their socioeconomic class, they just look trashy with no class when they get a tattoo. I've noticed that nowadays, their tattoos cover all or most of their body, and that it is virtually impossible for them to cover them up per their job requirements. 

I'm appalled at the number of Scarlet Letters I see on women in the gym, at the store and during a stroll through the park. If one is into having a f**k n' chuck with a whore or a slut, by all means, bang away. Then again, that is what most American women are, whores and sluts via their tendencies to stray nowadays. This kind of art doesn't arouse me. If it did, I would head on over to the local art gallery and have sex with paintings. It is said that every tattoo has a story. Yeah, the story is someone wanted to put ink all over her body and didn't think what a turnoff that would be or how that would look days, weeks, months or decades down the line. Oh, and someone doesn't respect her body. End of story.

11.  Their hatred for men.

Thanks to feminism, magazines and television, America has become not only a place where women don't need men, but a man-hating society. Women have dismissed men as tumbling, bumbling morons, creeps, evildoers, pigs and second-class citizens. In other words, they treat men like sh*t. I have had the unfortunate experience of being patronized by women who talked down to me as if I were a six-year old, simply for being a man. It is my belief that the losers and deadbeats that women hooked up with have tarnished the image of the normal dudes and have taken things way out of context. 

The reason male leadership is frowned upon in the U.S. is because women are hell-bent on shaming and emasculating men for being natural leaders and taking the initiative. American women hate this because they are the ones who desire power. They only need men as scapegoats for their own failures and for whatever is wrong with society. Only then will they take a reactive stance by asking where the real men and heroes are. 

I rarely hear praise from women about men or the men they are with, but plenty of constant complaints and criticism. It's no surprise, then, that American women complain about the silliest of matters like their husbands forgetting to pick up milk on the way home from a long day at work, not washing the dishes or taking out the trash. Or subscribing to the belief that men can't operate appliances for fix a toilet, when few women can even do it themselves. 

In college I was once asked by a female athlete on scholarship to stop by her apartment and help her assemble a shelf that she couldn't even put together correctly. After that was all said and done, all I got was an unauthentic "thanks." Thank goodness for a speck of gratitude. Ironic how I've heard phrases like "Well, a man designed it" indicating blame on men for construction flaws. I've also heard women complain to men about the weather as if the men were somehow responsible for meteorology. 

once stopped off at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, nothing for miles, and when another car arrived, out came a couple, a skinny man and a chubby woman, and the first thing the woman said upon exiting the vehicle was "it's so cold." She directed that statement exclusively at him, making it seem like the cold weather, and apparently, via some more inaudibles, their entire road trip was his fault. Leave it to American women, being the instigators that they are, to mar an otherwise peaceful fill-up. They are insensitive and cold to a man's feelings and needs.

At my father's funeral, his former boss, who was notorious for being a cold and militant micromanager that breeded hate in the workplace, attended and came up to me saying nothing more than a dour statement of  "you'll have to get over it," and then she walked away. 

They will cockblock their friends from seeing other men. I once asked some chick out on a date only to get a call from her friend vehemently saying it wasn't okay for me to go out on a date with her because she wanted her friend all to herself and she claimed that since they were back in town for summer vacation, it was their right to spend as much time together as possible. Needless to say, the date was cancelled. 

Moving along, I once knew an American woman who publicly slandered a male judge on social media for supposedly delaying her divorce papers. Apparently, she didn't posses patience in such a matter. It should come as no surprise that I cut all ties with this woman who was, at one point, a colleague, as I couldn't associate myself with someone engaging in such disrespectful behavior. 

American women have no problem falsely accusing men of rape, sending them to prison, manipulating courts and men into paying for children that aren't theirs and killing their dreams. 

Chivalry is obviously dead, yet I still hear American women complain that their men don't do things to satisfy their princess syndrome like take them out to a nice dinner on Valentine's Day. American women have relegated men to nothing but sperm donors and walking ATMs. 

12.  American women are the most irrational beings on Earth.

It amazes me how much American women don't make much sense of anything. Their lack of logic is just astounding. Ask an American woman a question and she'll not only not answer it, but she'll say something that initially sounds important, but really isn't and is not on topic. American women spend insane amounts of time trying to sound right at all times. They have such a huge superiority complex that they are under the illusion that they can say and do anything they want and it will be right, valid and vindicated. That way, if they encounter a situation where they are clearly wrong, they won't be made out to be such fools. No wonder I've heard countless women in America think that good is bad, boob tubes are better than flat screens and 2+2=5. 

When some American women found out that I was dating overseas and why I was doing so, in addition to being shocked, they still had the nerve to tell me I wasn't looking hard enough or in the right places. I guess to them, I had to either settle for mediocrity stateside by "waiting for the right time" or go to Mars and marry a green chick with three breasts. 

Common sense is nonexistent with American women. The real reason why American women like shopping, or rather, shopping for useless crap, is because they are emotional creatures. That leads to impulse buying. They will buy things at the register that they don't need, but they don't realize it until afterwards that they didn't need it. The result is a reactionary creature realizing the damage she's done when it's too late. But now they have to live with it for the next few years. You can find them frequently traveling on the bad decision highway. Their only defense is telling a man, "You think too much!"

13.  American women do not possess much mental prowess.

The last time I had an intelligent conversation with an American woman was over a decade ago and I can count the total number of times I've had an intelligent conversation with an American women on one hand. When I talk to American women, I always have to repeat myself because they are so stupid, their listening abilities suffer as a result. Even after I make my point multiple times, I still get looks like I just disembarked from a spaceship. I might as well be talking to a brick wall. Ironically, the common phrase I hear the most from American women is "This is so stupid!" 

American women are also geographically and historically challenged. Not even a decade ago, an American woman I talked to thought that Armenia still belonged to Russia. With or without navigational systems, American women get lost the most while driving. Even if you're riding with them and clearly locate a destination for them, even if it's a major freeway or big convention center, they still won't see it and will keep on driving. Well, that has been my experience. I'm sure there is an American women who tried to go to Google Maps to get driving directions from San Francisco to Hawaii, and ended up complaining that the system is not functional. 

Hence, a typical conversation between American women is annoying, distracting, irrelevant and lacks any substance. American women are as useful as a bag of M&M's in a brush fire. If you can't have an intelligent conversation with an American women, how can you be intimate with them? 

14.  Their infatuation with bad boys.

Have you ever been passed over for Mr. A**hole?  I have. Countless times. American women really know how to squander golden opportunities in dating by dating a**holes. This is one of the contributing factors to a dysfunctional dating scene and ass-backwards society. Being a nice guy in America is a death sentence while being an a**hole, a convicted felon, a drinker, a drug abuser, a cheater, a douchebag and a hothead is royalty. Such red flags fail to get noticed by American women as they see only adventure and cheap thrills in such "boys." They are quick to go for the criminal Wall Street bankers because of, duh, the money. 

Weeks, months or years later, American women will seek out the nice guys with random but nicer than normal phone calls, texts and e-mails so they can whine about their awful choices in suitors. An American woman's version of a shrink is a nice guy she put in the friend zone, who she can complain to and whose shoulder she can cry on. America is definitely the champagne room for such fu**ery. 

15.  American women are in a state of denial.

Ever heard that denial is dangerous? Well, it is. American women are living in their own sugar-coated dream world. Delusional with a distorted view of reality and the world. As a result, they are not well aware of their surroundings. They are queens of being mentally unstable, have unrealistic expectations and ridiculous standards. They really believe nothing is wrong with them, and are psychotic to the point where they act like their sh*t doesn't stink, both figuratively and literally. 

American women can't comprehend why men are angry, avoiding them and looking overseas for female companions. They don't understand the consequences of their actions. American women ask too many questions, but don't even come close to being solution-oriented. This may explain why, when a woman walks around thinking everything is hunky-dory, she asks others what is wrong or tells them to put a smile on their face without taking the time to get to the root of the problem or know the person. She can't put two and two together. 

I even had a female boss who thought, despite major attendance problems over a span of many years, that the absences were legitimate and justified, yet she didn't listen to anybody else's ideas on how to improve the situation, nor could she come up with any ideas herself. American women fail to understand that nobody wants to order their metaphorical sh*t sandwich that they continuously offer up.

Don't bother.

I came to the conclusion long ago that American women are a lost cause and need to be avoided. I am in no way convinced, nor do I have any hope that American women will improve in any way, anytime soon. I know that I'm preaching to the choir, but I feel the need to reinforce and reemphasize this without sounding redundant while still identifying a major problem in the U.S. And for those who are rolling your eyes at what I'm writing, American women deserve this criticism, and quite frankly, I don't think they get enough of it. I seriously think they need to know how bad they really are, and this needs to continue to be voiced so that more men wake up to this reality. 

The more men that wake up to this reality, the more men will be able to focus on themselves. The more they will love and challenge themselves to become better people. There is so much potential to be met and so much the world has to offer. The focus should be on saving money for that trip abroad, work or that promotion, education in and out of the classroom, learning new skills and getting new hobbies like pissing your name in cursive on a wooden fence. All of these are much better and so much more rewarding than wasting time, money and effort on American women. 

Let it be known that I am not launching a hate-filled attack, nor am I promoting violence. I don't hate women. Quite the contrary. I just have no respect for bitches and that is what most American women are. There are some good American women out there, but they are extremely rare and are always taken. 

Don't date, marry or befriend American women. They will make your life miserable and bring out the worst in you. Don't bother with American women. They are a lost cause.