Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Did anyone else see that disturbing episode of Home Improvement?

Now, I have no problem with theoretical feminism that says that women should be equal to men. But the feminism that is applied in America is mostly a front for male bashing, female domination, and an excuse for women getting away with anything they want. This type of modern feminism is rife with double standards, exemplified in the bulk of US mass media. Anyone who’s not brainwashed can see that US feminism is NOT about equality, but about DOMINANCE of hateful females.

One example is the TV sitcom Home Improvement. In it, Tim Allen is always set straight by his wife Jill in each episode and every episode ends with him admitting that Jill was right and that men ought to listen and obey their wives, which is the moral of the sitcom series. It’s as if the whole sitcom TV series is preaching some twisted form of new morality of right and wrong principles that men need to be emasculated and submit to female dominance. It’s a very one-sided principle that teaches that men are ALWAYS wrong when they argue with women. Ick. I’d rather get my moral lessons from the old Aesop’s Fables, which are far more wholesome and do not degrade a whole gender over the other, than feminist mass media sitcoms. There’s no way they’re brainwashing me with such twisted values, for I, Winston Wu, am immune to brainwashing!

The most horrible example of this that I saw in Home Improvement was in the episode where Jill demanded that Tim get a vasectomy (have his genitals surgically altered so as not to produce any fertile sperm during intercourse) done so that they could enjoy a normal sex life without the risk of Jill getting pregnant again. At first, Tim resisted, lamenting his loss of “manhood” from such an operation, and even became the butt of jokes from others about it. But as in every episode, he eventually gave in at the end and agreed to have the operation.

In real life, a real man wouldn’t have given in like that. But the wimpy emasculated feminist puppet Tim Allen character did. Somehow, the scriptwriters of the show were insinuating that men need to obey every wish of their woman, even if it means getting a vasectomy against their wishes!!!!! So in other words, a man’s sexual organs are owned by his woman too! I can’t believe that this episode didn’t cause an outrage. If there were a Men’s Rights Movement, I’m sure it would have though.

In any case, if that episode is a sign of the “wave of the future” in America, then I’m outta here!

Why is there a hatred of men in American culture?

Now, this isn’t just about women being spoiled by higher economic status, privileges and entitlements. With American women, it goes beyond that. Besides being overly paranoid, anti-social and defensive, they also have an inherent subconscious hatred toward men as well as an assumption that men are creeps, which they constantly seek to validate for some odd reason. It’s very mentally unhealthy and dysfunctional to say the least, and contributes greatly to the horrid dating scene for men in the US.

This strange collective female hatred toward men, which seems to have begun in the early 1990’s, is what sets American women apart from the females in the other 200 countries of the world. If you look at the economically privileged women in Western Europe or Australia for example, you may find a bit of a snobby attitude too, but you will not find this deep-seated disdain for men that is so prevalent in the US, thank goodness.

As a matter of fact, it is like a collective psychosis that sabotages any possibility of a normal relationship or friendship with men, making them anything but happy, healthy, comfortable, natural, or symbiotic. In short, they project the “shit” in their head onto others.

To make things worse, the US media perpetuates this by portraying negative images of men to validate this psychotic anger toward men. It’s all a sick twisted vicious cycle that makes America a nightmarish place for men who love women.

And what’s even worse than that is the fact that you aren’t even allowed to TALK about any of this in America, or else you are seen as a creep, loser or freak. There is an unspoken censorship and taboo in America against the mere mention that women are antisocial in America, that they hate men or treat them badly. It’s another classic case of The Emperor’s New Clothes. So much for free speech.

It’s kind of like being caught between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, women hate you and treat you like shit, and on the other, you aren’t allowed to speak out about it. It’s no wonder that many men have coined the term “feminazi” on the internet. Like the Nazis, these men-hating women stand for hate and censorship.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Family harmony vs. Fight for control

As many already know, in foreign countries, there is far greater respect for one’s parents and stronger family harmony than in the US.

In the Philippines, I observed that generally within most families, children don’t tend to argue, whine, complain or fight for control with their parents. There seems to be this natural symbiotic harmony and balance within the family that makes such ego/control battles unnecessary. It’s as if the family is one collective unit or symbiotic body that has one mind and gets along without effort. I see this especially in my Filipina girlfriend’s family (and in fact they are what inspired me to write this chapter). There isn’t this “separate individual identity” that needs to assert its will and struggle for control.

But in the US of course, disagreements, arguing and fighting for control between family members are all too common. Children yell and whine to get their way. And parents inflict constant control, yelling daily orders such as, “I told you to put away your toys! It’s bedtime!” and “Alright I’m gonna count to three and if you don’t go, then…”. And they often have to resort to disciplinary measures to counter disobedience such as threatening to take away privileges. It’s a constant struggle for control between individual entities that need to assert their wills in the typical American family.

Even American movies depict this struggle within the families. Teens are shown arguing and asserting themselves in front of their parents with powerful dramatic vigilance, declaring their freedom and independence, sometimes by force, even using threats. In Asia, that is almost unheard of.

In fact, American movies and music reflect the addiction of American people to conflict and drama. This is very apparent in our films and songs. There is something about drama and conflict that makes the American character and spirit feel “alive” (which is very unspiritual). In the Philippines though, I was surprised to find something different. Almost every song in Tagalog has a light monotone melody that to us seems bland and boring. My cultural advisor explained that this was because there is no “angst” in the Filipino soul. Thus, no melodramatic melody.

Now I’m not saying that families never quarrel in foreign countries, just that the degree to which they do is FAR LESS than in America. Here in the Philippines, I don’t even see the children in my girlfriend’s family arguing over toys. They are always happy to share everything with each other, without conflict. It’s amazing. The parents also never have to tell the kids to go to bed. They just go to bed at the time they are supposed to, without any struggle or resistance, as though everything is in harmony.

This all ties in with the other chapter in this ebook on Interconnectedness vs. Separateness (http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page15.htm) as this family harmony vs. disharmony exemplifies that concept and is an offshoot result of it.

Even in America, it is often said that during the last generation, people had more respect toward their parents than they do in the current generation. But I suspect that every generation throughout America’s history has said that about the preceding generation. Thus, it is probably a social trend that began since the cradle of American colonialism. During the Colonial era of the late 18th Century, French ambassadors in America often went away remarking that they’ve never seen people disrespect their parents as much as they do in America.

What’s funny is that not only does America assume that it’s the world and that other countries want to be like them, but in American movies featuring talking animals, such as Babe and Charlotte’s Web, the animals are depicted having the voice and personality of bratty selfish snotty American kids who only care about themselves. Um, sorry Hollywood, but if animals could talk, I don’t think they would act like American kids. More likely, they would behave meekly the way children do in Asia.

In my view, I would rather not raise my children in America. Not only would they become bratty and spoiled, but being Asian, they’d suffer the racism thing too, being treated as inferior culturally and socially. Thus, there would be a high chance of them developing the “inferiority complex” that I did, described in the other chapter in this ebook Blacks and Asians: Inferiority complex vs. Wholesome integration (http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page23.htm)

So, in my observation, America not only is the worst social life, dating scene, and mental health, but now we can add the worst in family harmony to that list as well.

The only thing the US country seems to be good for is making money and working to death in stress and isolation. Ick. Not my cup of tea at all. As one of my readers, an overseas Asian American, observed: America is a country built for business, not for living life.”

But on the flip side, asserting one’s independence from their family early on allows the chance to accomplish certain things on an individual level that one might otherwise not have. However, the question is, is it worth it to have social disharmony and disunity that leads to increased loneliness, depression, anger/hostility, lower quality of mental and physical health, decreased lifespans, animosity between family members, etc. just to increase individual accomplishments? My cultural consultant who mused over the same issue posed this key question, “Do people need to be individualistic assholes to create advanced 1st world countries and go to the moon? Or can people be nice and still have technological civilizations?”

Friendships, bonds, and social attitudes

Here is the biggest difference between making friends in America vs. abroad. In the USA, to make friends you often feel that you have to prove your worth to others, especially among the young crowd, to gain their attention or interest. And the strong sense of individualism which leads to a separate ego makes it that much more difficult.

But outside of North America though, people tend to just like you for you. You don't get the feeling that you have to prove your worth. Even in countries like Japan or Taiwan, where people are generally shy, introverted, and not very outgoing, people will still like you for you once they get to know you over time, and once they do, they treat you very well. People in those Asian countries may not be open to strangers, but at least you don't get the feeling that you have to prove your worth to them. That's the bottom line.

Therefore, outside of America I find that it's a lot easier to be myself because I don't have to prove anything to people, whereas in the US, I feel that I have to do something or project some kind of image to people to prove my worth. Let's face it. The reality is that in America, 99 percent of the people you meet are not going to just like you for you, or just because you're a nice person. Nor will they stick with you through thick and thin. Abroad though, the percentages are much much better. I guarantee it.

Furthermore, friendships in the USA generally aren't as strong, enduring, and deep as friendships are abroad, and there isn’t the warm-hearted camaraderie that you find abroad either. In most countries, when you make a friend, it is easy to keep that friendship through thick and thin, as long as you remain a warm loyal friend to that person. But unfortunately, in America most friendships or relationships do not last through thick and thin. Americans are just too individualistic and selfish for that. Most people here don’t even try to connect with others; instead they live in their own ego bubbles and only humor others.

And recently, a CNN report found that internet communications in America (on the rise probably cause people are afraid to talk to others in person) have made human relations in this country more superficial than ever before. See the report at: http://www.emailthis.clickability.com/et/emailThis?clickMap=viewThis&etMailToID=1421200924

Also, in most countries neighbors are very close and share their private lives with each other. But in most of America, particularly suburban neighborhoods, many people live in their homes for years without ever getting to know any of their neighbors! (Something unheard of in other countries!) Especially in apartment complexes, neighbors don’t even like to talk to each other or acknowledge their existence. Instead, there’s this disassociated separateness from others that is so strong that you feel like a freak if you violate it.

Among foreigners, there is a common saying that in America people are “easy come, easy go.” Foreigners also commonly observe that the way people greet and smile to each other in America in public or professional settings is very fake and artificial. These kinds of observations about America are very common around the world, yet our media never covers this for some reason.

And in workplace environments, coworkers tend to politely tolerate each other without becoming real friends or bonding with each other. Not always of course, but more so compared to other countries. During lunch breaks, for example, most office workers tend to go off alone and do their own thing. If they go eat with someone, it’s usually with one or two coworkers to the exclusion of the rest. But in other countries, such as Greece for instance, coworkers eat together, cook together, and often the boss cooks for everyone too.

One reader noted to me:

“Dear Winston,

A late good friend of mine from Peru used to tell me "Americans are friendly but not your friend". He observed how in the U.S. one could work for years in a company and never be invited to a co-workers home. This was far different from Peru where people frequently visited each others homes and were very social outside of work. I found this intriguing. As you have said each society has its pluses and minuses. Hope you enjoy this. Take care.”

And an East Indian friend of mine concurred, saying:

“Yes, very. I agree with your late peruvian friend in that I've found for the most part, most American's have a friendly manner that may or may not reflect how they really feel.

So someone coming here from another country (say India ) would think they're the friendliest people in the world. I thought that too, when I walked out on the streets on my first day in the US and had total strangers smiling at me and saying "Hello, How do you do".....but I quickly realized that they were just 'being nice' and had no earthly interest in hearing my answer.

In India, it is rather different - people aren't as quick to smile and say hi, but they are much more likely to invite you home, or do other things that help cement friendships quicker than I've seen happen here in the US. I know that's generalizing, and I'm not an expert on cultural phenomena by any means, but there definitely is a discernable difference.

Just my .02”

Even an American traveler confessed to realizing these differences after having them explained to him in Europe.

http://www.couchsurfing.com/group_read.html?gid=345&post=55980

This is why we travel, right? To learn about our ideal selves? I hope you're doing that. Your observations are valid and your conclusions worth taking to heart. But let's not stop at simple America-bashing. I'm not proud to be American, nor am I ashamed. I just am. But I do my best, I try to change things that really bug me about our culture. It's easy to complain, but it doesn't do any good if I don't get out there and do something about it.

When I lived in Europe, people frequently made me aware of our "out of sight, out of mind" mentality when it comes to friendship. When I returned here, I realized just how true their accusation was to a large extent.


But I also learned that there are a lot of truly sincere and loyal people here, and I hope that I've become one myself.”