Sunday, November 2, 2008
Am I a loser? What's the alternative to going abroad?
First off, am I a loser? Are all the fans of my site losers?
Well it depends on your standards and definitions, and if you even use that word at all. To the standards of the general mainstream American mentality and pop culture, probably yes. Let's see, someone who can't get girls in their own country and has to go abroad to do so, yeah I think that spells "loser" to a lot of people.
So I guess that means that to a large segment of the US population, we are considered losers. But rather than deny it or hide from it, I'd rather face that fact and confront it.
Ok, so I'm a loser, but so what? Should I kill myself? Or try to make the best of it? I think any kind decent person would say the latter. But isn't that what I've done?
Besides, it's NOT my fault that I'm a loser in America. I did NOT choose to be branded as "undesirable, unattractive, unwanted, not dating material, not good enough for girls, not anyone's type" etc. Those labels and statuses were GIVEN and ASSIGNED to me automatically by default. Right when I reached dating age, I was considered unwanted and a joke. Thus, it's obviously NOT my fault. So why should I suffer for something that's not my fault? Isn't that unjust?
And no, my attitude had nothing to do with it. That's the pseudo-American pop psych talk that does nothing. The thing is, when you've met 10,000 girls and all of them tell you that you're not their type, you sort of get the idea that your undesirability branding and status are real and not imagined. (and I'll bet you anything that if those who call me a loser were not anyone's type as well, they wouldn't like it either) Click here to view the ten reasons I was forced to go abroad by the dating scene in America.
Yet I NEED to be desirable to hot girls and be able to have them, to be happy. Hence an irreconcilable dilemma.
Thus, the abroad path was the best and most realistic solution for this dilemma, even if it is considered a "loser path" to the mainstream American mind. At least it WORKS! I get what I want and I am happy, and that's the bottom line.
Now look at the alternative - staying in the US and following the standard pseudo-advice commonly given to the dateless: 1) Work on yourself, and 2) Get involved in activities and clubs.
Where do you think this would get me? Let's see, I work on myself for a few years, and enhance my desirability a bit. Then maybe ONCE every few YEARS, I'll find someone who wants to date me, and if I'm lucky she might even be somewhat cute or attractive. But that's ONCE every few YEARS! (which was my dating record in the US already) Plus, there's no telling how long it will even last when it comes either (my last American girlfriend lasted only 5 weeks!). Now does that spell wide pool of CHOICES to you? I think not! Life is too short for that. On the other hand, look at my wide assortment of dating choices overseas in my collage (http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Collage.htm). I think that says it all. Anyone would rather have lots of choices constantly present, then just ONE choice every few years, or none at all! Get real.
And besides, even if you did "work" on yourself and became a great guy with wonderful qualities and a lot to offer, so what? If you're not a woman's type in America, and hence not desirable, then all you will get is a pat on the back from women and be told, "Congratulations. You have many great qualities and a lot to offer. I'm sure you'll be a good catch to the right woman someday." What's that going to get you?! Rather than wait years (or never) for "someone" who finally appreciates me, I'd rather be DESIRABLE to women in general, so that I have CHOICES anytime I want, including NOW! And in some foreign countries where the factors are in my favor, I have just that. Life is too short, so why wait years or never?!
As to number two, been there, done that. Sure I can join activities and clubs to meet girls, or take classes popular with girls (cooking, yoga, swing dancing) or just simply going to places where the girls are. Anyone can do that. But look at reality here. Meeting lots of girls you like isn't going to get you any dates if you're not their type. They're still gonna blow you off if you show interest. All that will come of it are polite conversations, but nothing more. And if you try to make something more out of it, they blow you off or refuse politely, saying that they have a boyfriend or that they prefer to have time to themselves. So sure, you can meet lots of girls in America, there are places and activities for that, but if you aren't their type, which I never am, then you'll only be left with disappointment, a huge let down, and blow to your ego. You will be left wondering,
"What's wrong with me? Why am I not dating material? Why did those girls say they would rather be alone then hang out with me?"
But let's be honest here. How many dateless people do you know who turned their dating life around by simply 1) Working on themselves and 2) Joining clubs and activities? Virtually nobody right? So as you can see, this advice is simply worthless.
Well f@#$ that. Why deal with that when there's "dating paradise" overseas?! Life is too short to waste. You gotta make the best of it NOW!
I mean, look at me and the difference in my life, which is beyond imagination. In the US I was perpetually dateless, and every single girl I liked blew me off. It was totally hopeless, literally, despite the fact that I tried everything you can imagine. But look at me here now that I'm overseas. I sleep with model type girls easily and naturally, with the flow. I feel like James Bond! I feel desirable and wanted. And I can live my fantasies with beautiful women whenever I want, because models are not out of my league here. What more could I want? So you see, who cares if I'm a loser by mainstream people's standards, especially when those segments of society are hate-driven and brainwashed by their wicked media?! Wouldn't I be a bigger loser if I had stayed in my unhappy, loveless, sexless, hopeless situation in the US?
In the end, you gotta ask yourself this. Would you rather forever endure constant rejection from women, such as this fan from my forum received in this letter:
"Paul, i have to tell you something. I have met someone and he is fast becoming a very important man in my life. I am having feelings toward him that I haven't felt in a long time and I want to see where this is going to lead. He has made me realize that there is life inside me that I can feel again, that I am a woman as well as a mother and my needs are important too. It was nice meeting you but I don't think that I want to persue anything more than friendship with you as I have some very strong feelings toward this other man. I would prefer not to correspond with you and would like it if you don't call me anymore, I don't have feelings toward you in that way. Your daughter is beautiful and you need to make her the focus of your life, never let her want for anything. It was nice knowing you, Jodi"
Or, would you rather live like this: http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Collage2.htm
I rest my case.
PS - Here's a brilliant response and analysis to this from my forum.
"The short man did not choose to be short. He did not choose to be, in Winston's words, "undesirable, unattractive, unwanted, and not dating material". "These labels and statuses were given and assigned automatically by default". Compared to taller and more appealing males, the shorter male must work harder to improve his sexual market value, to move up from the "undesirable" to the "will consider" category, while very few will make it to the "preferred' category (Tom Cruise?).
People don't like Winston (and others who went overseas) because he revolted against the established social structure and went abroad where his sexual market value is automatically higher. In Angeles city, a single American male is probably in the "preferred" category. He doesn't have to climb up in the same way as his counterpart in the US.
This upsets people who are firmly established in the meritocracy mindset, who thinks he took a short-cut. But the birth or gene lottery is not meritocracy, some people are born with a silver spoon and others are born into crushing poverty. The American meritocracy mindset is also hypocritical in its worship and granting of exceptions to the rich and famous. There's a double standard where a joe average male with a pretty wife from abroad is looked down as "mail order bride" loser, versus Hugh Hefner can have many pretty young GF's and be glamorous. Whos' to say that the average joe with a pinay wife isn't a better family man with strong traditional/conservative values, verus Hugh Hefner's playboy lifestyle?"
Posted by WWu777 at 10:54 AM