Thursday, September 18, 2008

Why Men Cheat on Women They Love: An Explanation to Women

I’ve often been asked by women, including my own girlfriend, why men cheat on women that they supposedly love, as though it were some perplexing unfathomable mystery. Sometimes, the question is rhetorical, but in case it’s not, I’d like to provide the following simple analogies to answer this common question asked by women, which is not unexplainable at all. It’s just that oftentimes, women do not accept the explanations. But in fact, one can understand it through simple analogies and common sense.

Of course, sometimes men cheat on their wives or girlfriends because they don’t really love them anymore, are bored with them, or even possibly unhappy with their relationship. In such scenarios, even women can become unfaithful. But in general, men are more likely to cheat than women are, statistically speaking. This has been confirmed by studies and research as well as common sense experience, and not really in dispute.

However, many men also cheat on women whom they love and are happily involved with. It is these scenarios that perplex many women, and so I offer the following series of explanations and analogies to help them understand the reasons. I will simply tell it like it is straight, with no bull, tact, or political correctness.

Basically, it’s like this:

1. Some men need a lot of variety in their lives perpetually, and thrive on new experiences and stimulation.

They get bored by the same thing every day or a routine, which gets old to them, and they are afraid to voice this. Imagine this. Suppose you ate your favorite pizza everyday. One the second day that you ate it, the pleasure would be noticeably less than the first day. And after a week of eating it, you’d get tired of it and start to strongly desire to eat something else. Your desire for that pizza will have reached overkill at that point.

Or, imagine wearing your favorite outfit every day for a week. After a while, you’d get sick of it and want to change into different clothes, even if you wash it every few days, right?

The same applies to any number of examples as well. Even if you went to the wonderful Disneyland for the first time and experience the wonders and magic of it, with each subsequent time you go, the pleasure, excitement and novelty of it all decreases with diminishing marginal returns, technically speaking.

Now, I know what you are thinking, “You can’t compare food or clothes with people” right? That’s the typical female reaction to this analogy. However, I’m sorry to say that this analogy does apply, because it’s one of the best and simplest ways that it can be explained. I am not trying to objectify people. But by accepting such an analogy, it will start to make sense to you.

Also, men are more visually stimulated than women are, comparatively speaking. And when one relies upon visual stimulation for arousal, the stimulation wears off at some point, which then requires new stimulation from new women. Get the drift? In other words, visual stimulation is a sensual thing that is fleeting in nature and requires constant variety in order to maintain the stimulation. Thus, men who seek visual stimulation will require variety from more than one partner or lover.

Now, you might try to argue that “true love” never gets old. But the notion of “true love” is undefinable, very personable, and highly subjective. And even for the sake of this argument, if we agree that “true love” never gets old and never wears out, that still doesn’t change what we’re talking about here. You see, even if a man has true everlasting unending love for his partner, he can STILL desire another female he fancies. And explanation # 2 below gets more into that. That’s what you’ve got to understand, rather than cling to naïve clichés of society.

Just for the record though, yes there is the kind of deep everlasting love between couples that never wears out and keeps them together happily. That does exist. And it exists in my relationship too. However, even a man who has that can still desire multiple partners or extramarital affairs, and the next explanation, # 2, explains why.

2. The next thing you have to understand is that whereas a woman’s heart tends to be able to love only one man at a time, a man’s heart is different and CAN truly love MORE than one woman at a time.

I know this is hard for some women to accept, and unfathomable to their values and beliefs about “love”. But it is the truth. A man’s heart is different, or can be different in some men that is. It simply CAN and depending on the individual, sometimes DOES have multiple chambers that love and desire multiple women. It’s like a tree with different branches, rather than just one. Men who are like this though, usually won’t admit it, because our society doesn’t accept this, but condemns it.

To try to understand this, think about all the different colors you love. Suppose you like pink and sky blue, or red, blue, black and purple. Now, can you like more than one color at a time? Of course you can! It is not mutually exclusive. You like the different colors in different ways, on different things, and for the different ambience and mood that each color accentuates, right? Likewise, you can like more than one type of cuisine right? Can you like Chinese and Italian food at the same time? Of course you can. Even if society said you could only like one type of cuisine, it wouldn’t make a difference would it? After all, society may attempt to create mutually exclusivities, but reality doesn’t.

There are an endless amount of such examples I can give, but you get the point. I know these are painfully obvious examples, and I am not arguing that people are like colors or food, but such simple analogies DO in fact describe what’s going on inside those who love more than one person or like having many lovers.

Therefore, just because a man tells more than one woman that he “loves her”, desires her, or has feelings for her, does NOT make him a “playboy” or “liar”. He is not necessarily “playing” in terms of acting, nor does it mean he is using people in some sort of pretend “game” where he doesn’t care about their feelings. These are just false judgments by society (especially a feminist or female dominated society like modern America has become). And he is not “lying” to them or being dishonest either. He is simply expressing REAL multiple desires or love to multiple women. He really is in fact capable of feeling the emotion of love or desire for different women. But of course, he often has to keep that a secret, except from others who are the same as him, because society condemns this.

That’s it in a nutshell. I know to some women, that does not make sense and does not fit their definition of love and loyalty. But it’s the truth. That’s reality and you’ve got to accept it if you want to try to understand it. Not all men unequivocably attach loyalty to true love. Society might do so, but not all human beings do.

What some people have to understand is that being in a loving monogamous relationship does NOT automatically erase one’s desire or attraction for other people.

Of course, men who have multiple partners or are Casanovas often do have to lie to the women they romance, by telling them that they are the only one when confronted with the issue. So that is one area in which they commonly lie. However, it does not make them dishonest people in general. It’s just that since most women cannot accept that their partner can pursue someone else beside them, demanding total monogamy in love, these men with multiple desires for multiple women are FORCED to have to lie in order to prevent chaos and failure in courtship. There is no easy way around it. And that is the case even if they are generally honest men. (After all, who hasn’t lied? Everyone has at one time or another, so stop pretending to be an angel!)

Now, loving/desiring multiple women has nothing to do with right or wrong, or being good or bad. It is simply a lifestyle and often these men are simply expressing who they are. Nor is it deviant maladaptive behavior, but natural and normal for some, depending on the man. Thus, infidelity does not make a man “bad” in a moral sense. Often, these Casanovas who romance multiple women are tender, caring, good-hearted, loving, nurturing people. Some are even deeply spiritual or religious (such as St. Augustine, the eloquent author and mystic of the early Christian Church) or Renaissance men who are highly intellectual (such as many Italian and French men commonly are).

Some might try to argue that a man who desires multiple women is not feeling love for them, but lust. However, that argument is highly subjective, since the line between love and lust is blurry, undefinable, and subject to personal opinion. There is no universal objective measuring stick for differentiating between “love” (which has so many different meanings anyway) and “lust”. Others argue that a man who finds a woman that he truly loves with all his heart will never desire or even look at another woman again. Now this might be true for some men, but it is not true for all. So these folks who utter this (which includes men themselves) are mistakenly assuming that all men are like them. In reality, a man can find the perfect woman who outshines the rest in his life, and can even have a perfect relationship with her, but still look at another woman he finds attractive and desire to court her, romance her, and experience the wonders and pleasures of her femininity as well.

3. Some men get a “high” or adrenaline rush from courting, romancing, or seducing new women, in a way that nothing else can, and thus are addicted to it. 

The excitement, stimulation, and novelty they get from it makes them feel alive. They live for the thrill of the chase, and new conquests feed their male ego and sense of worth. It’s similar to those who get an adrenaline rush and high out of roller coasters, extreme sports, skydiving, climbing Mt. Everest, or putting themselves in danger’s way. They get this pleasurable feeling and high that makes them feel alive in a way that no other way does. Thus, they need to do these things, even if it means risking their lives foolishly.

Those who don’t derive pleasure from such things may think that those who do are crazy and cannot understand why they get pleasures out of them. You might have heard about how many people die every year trying to climb Mt. Everest. And you might think they are crazy, but remember, those who climb it say during interviews that there is a pulsating desire in their blood to climb it that can’t be understood by those who don’t have it. This desire is so deep and a part of who they are, that they are willing to risk their lives in extreme danger for it, and unfortunately many of them lose their lives attempting it.

For some men, being around beautiful women is a surreal experience beyond words that never gets old. It puts them in a trance like state of nirvana in a way that nothing else can. I can tell you from personal experience that having a tall sexy gorgeous attractive “hot” female in a bikini next to you, with your hand on her waist or back, feeling her smooth silky skin is a nirvanic heaven-like experience that no words can do justice to. It’s simply out of this world. Not even the love, joys, and pleasures of a perfect wonderful monogamous relationship can compare to it, which is not the same and does not give you the same type of high or sense of aliveness (and yes I’ve experienced the joys of both lifestyles). I hate to sound so juvenile, but it’s true. This is why some men shun the life of a monogamous relationship or family life, preferring instead the life of a “sex playboy”, such as the kind that Hugh Heffner, founder of Playboy Magazine, lives. Of course, since most men in America, including those who are rich and handsome, can’t live the life of a Hugh Heffner, they can do so in other parts of the world that allows them better opportunity to do that. But either way, the desire is there.

Of course, if this becomes an addiction, then no matter how many “conquests” a man attains, he will always feel lack and need more. There will never be a point where he is satisfied and then he can move on. Addictions are very hard to permanently cure of course, and being addicted to sex, love, or having new women everyday is far more difficult to quit than drugs, alcohol or smoking, because the former has to do with internal chemistries that are a part of our body, mind and psyche, while the latter has to do with outside foreign substances.

But alas, there is no perfect solution or answer to everything. It’s not right or wrong. It just IS. Some things in life are just meant to be endured, not fixed or solved like an equation.

I hope that these explanations and analogies above help the female asking why men cheat on their lovers, to better understand what’s going on, even if they can’t accept them.

Relationship psychologists have argued in media and books that just because a desire or instinct is there, whether by genetics or conditioning, does not mean that one has to “act” on them. Technically, that is true. But at the same time, if one is never free to “act out” who they are, or live one’s desires and passions, then life can become a suffocating prison barring who you are, making you long for “freedom”.

Of course, there are some who need to live and act out who they are as a form of self-expression, while there are those who don’t need to as much. Thus, there will always be those who would rather take risks, than live a lie and not be allowed to be who they are.

Thanks for reading.

Announcement about the comment section:

Hi everyone. Sorry I haven't done much maintenance around here. I found a ton of spell caster spam in the comments section, so I went ahead and deleted all of it today, so that only genuine comments are left. Now you can read the comments below and respond to them without all that spam getting in the way. Thanks for commenting.


  1. What I've found:

    Be POLYAMOROUS, accept it, state it from the get-go, and you will never have to sneak around or feel guilty. You won't be cheating, you'll simply have other relationships (which is everyone's perfect right, when you think about it). Of course, you will have to be up front about the other relationships--you can't have your girl catch you in bed with another girl and then say "Well, I'm poly, I was going to tell you about it eventually."

    The problem is in finding women who will stick around after finding out you're poly. Most won't, unless they are poly themselves (maybe 12% of the population, growing at a snail's pace), or if they live in a different area.

    Ironically, a lot of girls bail on me 'cause I'm poly, saying they want a "one-woman man", and they tell EVERYONE when they've found one.

    Then, anywhere from a month to a year later, they're crying in their beers because their "one-woman man" CHEATED ON THEM!!! BWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    If you are going to actually cheat, rent the movie "How to be a player" first. It's actually got some good tips (for example, the 'player' says "Never do a girl at your own house, unless you want her to burn it down."

    If you do get caught, say "I got a better offer", or "I already broke up with you, but not your pussy." So much manlier than pleading "Ohhh, I'm sorry baby, I couldn't help myself, blah blah blah..."

    Best, K.K.

  2. You two are such pigs. There's no way around're not done "hunting" then don't settle down dumb fucks! How can you think cheaters are not bad people? They're knowingly hurting anothers feelings. That's malicious on its own. You men lack respect for others and yourself. And this goes for cheating women too. No need to cheat if you don't falsely lead another person on unless you're going to put it all or nothing to be faithful. Simple.

    1. Ive just caught out my so called `` im not like other men!!..bla bla``bf``. Er guys, listen up to me...while you are romancing your LOYAL LOVING TRUSTING 12.48am and you have to suddenly RUSH OFF to shut your SILENT VIBRATING MOBILE PHONE `hidden` in your pocket....don't wonder why YOU GET DUMPED. BSTDS.

    2. Perhaps the problem is that you are told from a young age that it is your right to possess another human. And we tell people they are horrible if they can not follow this model. Everyone I know has been exposed to cheating in one way or another. Either they cheated or were cheated on. It's so common because it's not just some characteristic of the occasional douchebag. What IS unnatural is swearing eternal love and monogamous comtmitment to one person for your entire life. People change. Cheating isn't an easy decision but if you're in a relationship where the lines of communication aren't open about some things or you know you'll be immediately deemed an asshole for even mentioning the idea of being with another person it can sometimes feel like the only release. For example, I would be terrified to have a real conversation with the last commenter. Bring kids into the equation and the need to keep secrets is even greater if you know you're with a woman that would do everything possible to hurt you if she knew you even harbored dirty thoughts about another woman.
      I am a woman. I have been cheated on and I have cheated. It is NOT that black and white. Both sexes are capable of it. Everyone's circumstances are different.

  3. Found out tonight after 4 years I'm getting cheated on. Never believed people were perfect or love was perfect but now I know the relationship I was lead to believe I had and the life I was lead to believe I had were just illusions that covered up secrets and lies. I'm sorry to tell you but love true love is about trust and faith in each other and being real with each other anything else is a cheap copy. If you love someone you choose every day to do the loving thing even when its hard even when you don't feel like it even when its not what you want the most. If you want someone else you need to have the balls and spine to say it. Life is about choices and if you have the right to choose another lover then your partner has the same right to choose if she wants to be a part of that or not. Lying is stealing from someone their right to make decisions based on truth. I hope all of you find what you are looking for and I hope I do too. Thank you for your honesty in this post it does actually help me.

    1. Excellent answer. You are right - if people are honest, then the other person has a right to choose to be a part of a non-exclusive relationship. I dated a married man for over a year. He told me he was "separated" and they had "drifted apart". Not true. On the plus side, the sex was amazing. On the negative side, I knew I couldn't trust him. He never paid me a compliment. He rarely rang. He gave me zero emotional support. We broke up - because I wanted to see him more often than once a month. He gave me an out, because he point blank refused to see me more often. He said sex was better if it was infrequent??? Better for whom? If I'm in a relationship, I like sex every 2 to 3 days. Bizarre. Bizarre. Bizarre. Being a typical woman, I wasn't seeing anyone else. I find the idea of keeping multiple partners (any more than one) on the go at the same time totally repugnant. And yes, I know I was the "other woman". I wasn't seeking a married man. Imagine being this guy's wife? I call this behaviour selfish in the extreme.

  4. I have been married for 12 years to a wondrful man. A great husband and a great father. When we met, we discussed that if either of us ever wanted to be with someone else that we would have the respect to tell the person and end the marriage. So I knew my husband would never cheat. He is also has very old fashioned values (taught to marry once/settle down have a family type until you die) But lately I find myself asking if he is really that perfect. He seems to work all the time. Says he is with clients until may be that he is, but ..I have to wonder after reading these posts if he is as perfect as I have given him credit for. I don't typically ask where he has been when he comes home late, and I am not really a jealous person, but I am starting to feel like maybe I just married a good liar. Any thoughts ladies and gentlemen?

    1. YES. Im afraid YOU HAVE married a `good liar`. They only get away with this, the more trusting their partners happen to be. I don't know of a man ALIVE who is TRUSTWORTHY. Being born a woman is MY dreadful bad luck..:=( AND I SPEAK FROM ABSOLUTELY HEARTBREAKING EXPERIENCES,both past... and PRESENT.

    2. Have you ever wonder what are you doing that this keeps happening to you. You never thought maybe there is something you are not doing right as a women, which I think it is the problem with most western women and also explains why women over seas have the upper hand in marriage relationships. Statistically speaking the diverse rate between men and women from foreign countries is only 20% overall. America has a 60-70% divorce rate alone. Higher than any other country in the world.

    3. Oh right, because its always the woman's fault if her husband cheats. She must be doing something wrong especially if she's a thoughtless American... Im sorry but this is not a western phenomenon, cheating happens the world over. A low divorce rate doesn't mean anything when it comes to cheating. Plus why are you assuming that all divorces are because of cheating? We are dealing with human emotions here, you cant just look at statistics. There are too many reasons why divorce can and does happen. Not to mention that divorce is frowned upon in many cultures so what your saying is like looking at the world pork market and explaining that sales aren't doing well in Muslim countries because they just don't know how to cook it.

  5. If you think you "married a good liar"...chances are your instincts are right. He does sound too good to be true.

    1. Just make sure you look in the mirror carefully before you start throwing stones.

  6. I have never read a such a ridiculous article in my entire life. I have never commented on a post before but this one here needs a comment. I have been cheated by my now ex boyfriend and have no problems with his choices at all. Of course he is now going crazy that he has lost me forever, but I could not care less. My mother has never been cheated on and this is because she respects herself overall. Men who pull out idiotic excuses like the above article really deserve to have a wife who is secretely cheating themselves, the funniest part is they probably do, and this guy with balloons in his pants probably does not even know it. Before I start, the statistic says the cheating is ALMOST 50/50! Who do you think you are cheating with? 18-year old college graduates with no ties?!?
    So to the author:
    1. WOMEN WANT VARIETY. I am one, I know others, and I have never heard anything so ridiculous as your above statement before. It could just be that women dont talk, but jesus, believe me, I got bored of my ex boyfriends all the time. Difference is that men's idiotic ego lets them think THEY are bored, and that the wife is not! hahah, this is funny actually. I mean, ARE YOU SERIOUS? I guess the problem you get the vibe from your wife unconsciously telling how boring you are you need to go to other women whom you can play same tricks with but because they have not experienced it with you, it is new to everyone involved.
    2. HAHAHAH, another good one. As far as I have heard anyone saying a woman can love several men at the same time. Your wife could just do it too. This is EXACLY because women are more opened to love. I have loved 2 men at the same time.
    3. LOL, this is getting better. Basically, your point says it all:
    'and new conquests feed their male ego and sense of worth'. Exactly, because you dont feel self worthy and dont respect yourself you need to feed your man ego! Hmmm..

    Anyways, one more thing, I have spoken to so many men about these things, all middle aged ,some alpha males. Last conversation I had with a well known 50 year old psychologist who has been alpha male all his life.. He simply said that if a man loves a woman HE WILL NEVER CHEAT BECAUSE HE RESPECTS AND LOVES, any woman or a man who does cheat means there is an underlying problem in the relationship. Then, when man DOES CHEAT, it is not because he wants variety or whatever you think it is to feed your male ego, its actually because the man is looking for LOVE. I am sure the readers did not expect this! Yes, LOVE. Can you believe it! Not to feed ego or have variety. It is because men are less connected to themselves and dont really know much of thenmselves and so they tend to belive its because 'women being boring etc'. Really they need to feel unconsciously that they are loved. This will put the male ego straight down the drain im sure. Come on women, get yourself out of this men-ego crap. You will always suffer otherwise. I wish women would just know better, then such articles would not get online to secretly put them down (and keep them there). This is just a loads of BS :)

  7. One more thing that is said in the article about the men who feel that in order to be true to themselevs they need to cheat..
    'Thus, there will always be those who would rather take risks, than live a lie and not be allowed to be who they are'
    You say rather than live a lie...well if you cheat and dont tell your life partner? then you just simply choose to rather lie to her?
    I dont think there is much to talk about here..:)

  8. I agree with above. My boyfriend met a girl over the internet, who was married. We had a good relationship, we were getting too comfortable and he came home one day and said he was going out of town and he wasn't happy and walked out the door. I had no clue this was coming. well, i found out he had met this girl and went there to meet up with her. Anyway, a couple of weeks later, his charming self dropped in on me and swore what a mistake he made and loved me more than anything, blah, blah, blah. I am 40 and love this man like no other, so I fell for it and believed it. Well, it has been 2 months, sex constantly everything good, but I got laid off last week. Immediately the sex stopped and I saw the same signs as before. He had a little cold and blamed that. Last night I checked his emails on his phone and saw that he has signed up on an internet site looking for intimate email/internet relationship... I called him this morning and told him goodbye. He is swearing he was just stupid, needing someone (more) to tell him he is sexy, blah, blah, but he will break his computer for me, delete the site, and we should get married. What the hell??? why can't he just let me go? why does he act like he just loves me so much, he swears he does, but can think so little of me like this. He talked me into trading in my car and he got a new car in his name for me. and i just got laid off. I feel like he has me stuck and wants me here to take care of him while he looks for other women. I am so confused and I don't think I can ever trust another man. I tried to say the first time this was just a midlife crisis and he needed something, i rationalized, but already?? Again??

  9. To the author: It's all about looking outside of yourself for ego validation which is a superficial, albeit seductive ride, yet a temporary fix to low self worth. it's gotta come from within: fixes do not cure We all attract partners for our personal growth. Trust, go deeper, be honest Tell the truth about these normal "go to escapes" of wanting to distract/escape from our disappointed, guilt ridden selves; talking to our partners about secrets and fantasies is wonderful. Don't judge each other Know that this communication is healing and comforting for the relationship and, mostly to the part of yourself that needs love and acceptance. Love heals. Share love with your partner. Be love.

  10. Awesome article! I have gradually become fan of your article and would like to suggest putting some new updates to make it more effective.

  11. What a bunch of bull shit, this is how unwed women have illigitimate children and why std's get transfered.if married men get bored with their marriage they should do what i do when im lonley or bored and need drama or excitment in my life READ A FUCKING BOOK OR WATCH A PORNO. Guys are just inconsiderit little boys and need to grow a pair.

    1. Completely AGREE. They lack respect for themselves and others. I'm bored, let me go fuck some random bitch...REALLY? Look guys, let me make it easy for you. Women, we get tired of you as well. Of your whining, your lies, your low fucking self-esteem, lack of confidence and more. I'm married and yes, my husband bores me to death sometimes...but I have more respect for myself than those who cheat. I don't need to be looking for it elsewhere. If he doesn't give me the sex life I want, it's simple..I tell him... "hey, things aren't working out. You are coming and leaving me hanging so you need to figure out what you are going to do about that because I can't have you keep doing this." If he don't like it, then that's his problem. What do I do when he doesn't make me come? WATCH PORN AND MASTURBATE UNTIL I DO AND FEEL SATISFIED!! Your excuse as men, "It's NOT the same". Then, you need to find a way to use your little imagination to make it the same if you fucking love your girl. Sex is all about your brain nothing more. And surprisingly the center of sex in women and men are NOT that different. If you can't figure that one out, do some research.

  12. Lol this is the most funniest article ive ever read. When it comes to cheating, lying and deceiving I thought women were just as guilty. Lol what a joke, how naive can you be.

  13. I so agree I think men who feel this way are sad bums and deserve to die alone. I am I mother of twins while caring the jerks kids he was cheating befor coming to the hospital he was on his dating site taking pics so no men don't have My excuses when u cheat u are scum and yes he stated he loves me still does and yea I actually pretty freaking cute and have a nice body

  14. Cheaters forget that what they are doing would kill their partners emotions and soul.I just want to know do soulmates really exist in this world.Please let me know bcoz I love my husband that I dont want to live without him but he cheated on me although he is extremely sorry for what he did.Now my situation is that I cant live with him or even leave him either.My soul is badly damaged its like fish without water.

    1. I feel the same soul is severely damaged. my bf of 10 years was my everything. I believed he is the best man in this whole world. I trusted him with my whole heart and soul, I would never see it coming. he cheated on me with someone he says he never met before, he allegedly got drunk and had a one night stand. he confessed it the next day, was crying, he is very sorry. but I just feel the realtionship is broken. something has terribly changed within me. "Cheaters forget that what they are doing would kill their partners emotions and soul." - exactly. I feel dead inside. I´ve always believed that if a man cheats, he doesn´t love and respect his woman. I just don´t believe he loves me and respects me anymore. what kind of person is able to abuse a pure heart this way. can´t imagine my world without him, but I can´t be with him either. I just can´t look into his eyes anymore. it´s like my bf died the night it happened. he was the only person in this world I trusted. the pain in my soul is unbearable. I feel like I´m living a nightmare I will never wake up from.

  15. Cheating is a form of violence to the soul of another human. It is horrifically wounding. It is a monstrous act of terrorism to the heart.

    1. Yes, you are SO RIGHT. Last year was bad for me, that bfs cheating was literally on my own doorstep. It nearly killed me...
      This year, another new bf,another HEARTBREAK. Im DEVASTATED. He offered NO goodbye, no resistance or denials. He says he loves me..??
      Ive decided to finish with him... (after only 4 months). MY HEART IS NOW SUFFERING AGAIN. 2 different men have broken my heart, in the space of just 19 months. >PURE AGONY< It should be illegal, because someone can DIE FROM HEARTBREAK.

    2. Four months? Wow. Hopefully you don't die from that broken heart of yours. It's tough being sixteen.

  16. Are you serious? Can you be so egotistic. Woman CAN cheat if they want to but we choose to be faithful; just because you can doesn't mean you should. I have never been so distress about a post but this one takes the cake.

    Cheating is an hurtful thing to do to anyone no matter what the problem is. Its heartless, and cruel. If you respect, love and cherish the person than cheating would never cross your mind. If you're not getting the attention you want or bored of your relationship than set the person free instead of hurting them; Keeping a secret of betrayal is harsher than breaking up.

    I've been infatuated by other men when I was in a relationship, and even if they we're interested I wouldn't blunt out cheat on my partner just because a fling was available. I believe in myself worth and I know what is wrong and right. Any person who has a mindset like this really shouldn't get into a relationship because to me it seems like you will never be satisfy with any woman so do us all a favor and don't play us like your barbie dolls we're not toys for you to throw around.

    I swear people who cheated, karma is just around the corner it never leads to anything good, maybe that moment but it's not going to last.

  17. Your blog is BULLSHIT. Cheaters are lacking in morals and respect for women. They are insecure sick minded perverts that lie, cheat and covet any woman they can for a cheap thrill. They are the weakest of men... the diseased that saturate society with fatherless children. Women who are victimized by these type of scums should prosecute and do what is necessary to eliminate them from victimizing other women. These are the scums that look to prey upon women as pieces of meat. The blogger is basically trying to induce some level of acceptance for these low life bastards and that will never happen. Didn't work goofball... never will. Women cheat on men exactly the same way without remorse ... they too are mentally unstable with no morals. Stop pretending the boat don't float both ways because it does and fools like you who pretend they don't are merely feeding the insecure ego of worthless males that society as a whole will never respect or accept. Try harder next time! I'll dump a piece of shit like that in a second and not think twice about it. Women don't want men without integrity and the only reason those sneaky bastards get away with it is because they are liars. Women like me will expose them and discard them like trash. Remember that.

    1. The WORST thing is...NOT having a shoulder to cry on...MY HEART IS IN SUCH PAIN>.AGAIN...and most are in the same boat. TRULY UNBELIEVABLE. :=((

    2. I am going thru the same thing no one to help me get out and 20 years of my life wasted ...all I get from him is constaant yelling while I am crying

  18. Agree with write,elondon.

    Women can cheat too. They are just better at hiding it.

    I'd like to add ...

    Men just revert to reptilian infant brain and want to HULK SMASH, destroy their relationships with women because they aren't getting their mama's tities anymore.

  19. I have been doing a lot of research on this and how the male brain works and this is by far the best article I've found and has given me the insight I needed! Thank you very much. I think this will help me understand and move on!

  20. #3 was the best explanation. Makes perfect sense. Thanks again


    And it runs mostly in men - need I say more -

  22. I just have to comment..I write articles as well and I don't comment a lot on them , but this is bold and honest and I feel 100 percent truth! I commend you for finally saying what all men know is the truth but too afraid to say. It actually helped me as well personally in my own life. It expolains my own thoughts and ponderings on this very sensitive subject matter. Thanks for having the courage to publish





  24. If you absolutely have to have more than one vagina say so; don’t pretend to be something you’re not. It’s the lying that’s not ok and makes you evil. I’m sure there are some women out there (no doubt with very low self-esteems) that will accept open relationships. Find those women. Then you can be free to indulge in your most primitive lizard brain temptations without breaking someone’s god dammed heart. Maybe you can also throw feces at people that make you angry or leave urine scent markings on your mailbox.

  25. Anyone who would cheat on their spouse is a selfish individual. Cheating is a form of abuse. We give our trust to somoeone who takes that trust and tears it to pieces. No one should have to go through that.

    If men are really like this article represents them, I would rather be alone for the rest of my life. Your description of cheaters confirms my suspicion that they are all a bunch of jerks who hopefully will all die alone.

  26. Your really full of bull anything to mess up morality!! Your more than likely spouting this crap cause you sleep around with married men. Or trying to make yourself feel better about your own cheating spouse

  27. I think your article is full of shit as well if u love your woman you wont fucking do anything to risk bringing her home diseases a man who cheats do not fucking love you whoever listens to that article is foolish guys are just young dumb and full of cum i see why women become gay this shit is crazy that article will make women hate men


  29. I'm a separated woman. I married my husband 24 years ago. He was a control freak. He would use threats and actual violence. The violence was always out of the blue and unprovoked. Personally, I think my husband is a psychopath. My youngest child turns 18 next week. The day after, I am filing for divorce. I haven't lived with my husband for around 3 years. In that time I have been on internet sites, seeking a relationship/friendship. I physically met three men, all of whom were married. The last one I dated for over a year. He said he was separated when I met him. He has four children between 10 and 18. His intentions, I believe, are simply to make his life bearable while he carries the responsibility of his marriage. He believes that desire within marriage always dissipates. I disagree. I am emotionally available for love. We broke up recently - I wanted to see him more often, he wasn't prepared to do this. It's probably not the end of the "relationship" if you could call it that. Why do men cheat? I believe for this man, it is about ego-building because he has low self-worth. I think he feels he works hard and maybe isn't appreciated? He has never spoken ill of his wife whom he has been with for 30 years. Again, why do men cheat? And please, don't say it's because there are women like me out there, because he said he was separated when I met him and I believed him. Who is to say he isn't seeing other women? And I think it was all in the fun of the chase. When the going gets tough, he definitely gets going. If I were to classify him, I'd say he's definitely a narcissist. He came from a privileged family. What more can one say? He was definitely not good for my ego, because he was never ever available, so as I fell more into an attachment with him, it was not reciprocated. He told me it was flattering to him and he appreciated that I really cared about him. Like, huh? Love isn't a commodity, or shouldn't be. Maybe someone should do a survey on whether online dating websites are doing brothels out of business.

    1. I started to feel sorry for you, until I read further. I am so sick of women like you. If you don' date a married man, then you don't date a married man. Simple as that. Do you know what they really think of women who knowingly cheat with them...they don't want to be with you in a real sense. Because if you cheat with them, you'll cheat on them. Men cannot fathom another man's pecker being where he has been. It will always be in the back of his mind that you are a woman who did not respect marriage, so how can he be sure you will respect him, in his marriage to you. Ain't that some shit. A cheater don't want to be cheated on. He wants to be sure his wife keeps her stuff sacred only for him. Once you found out he was married, you should have broke it off with him. You are not a victim. Women, a married man cannot force you to sleep with him. You sleep with him because somehow you feel like you are so special that this man is willing to risk everything just to be with you. Nothing could be further from the truth. You are his entertainment. So don't pretend as if you are innocent, when you say you don't seek out married men. You don't turn them away either. I repeat, a married man cannot force you to open your legs for him, and if he does, then a crime is being committed, and its called rape. Otherwise you are a willing participant in your own demise.

  30. damn sometimes it seems like the only way to win is not to play.

  31. Can somebody answer my question my boyfriend a truck driver he texts me earlier and i told him i was going call him when i got home that was at 5 pm even though he on the road do you think he cheats on me! Why wouldn't he answer his phone his favorite line hes was sleep! Lately he been rushing me off the phone too!!

  32. I just started dating a truck driver who travel long distances! Lately he been rushing me off the phone and stuff and may i ad he gambles and he just lies about dumb stuff but i think hes dating another women are other women! He just act weird

    1. Here's where you went wrong. "I just started dating a truck driver."

  33. Both men and women Cheat so very much nowadays, but it is the women that are the Absolute Worse when it comes to Cheating. My wife was the one that Cheated on me which i was a very caring and loving husband that was very committed to her before this happened to me, and with so much women that are very nasty today too meet as it is, it really is very hard meeting a Decent One all over again for me.

    1. I don't feel that women cheat more than men, in today's society I honestly think it's about equal, where did people's moral's go? I for one am not a cheater, I have been married for 21 years and it has never crossed my mind, yes, I have thought other men are handsome and had those thoughts of dang I wonder if he would spend my head around but actually taking action on those thoughts never and why because I value myself, husband, relationship and family, so yes there is women out there that do still have morals but just as men they are few and far between. I have just found out that throughout my marriage he was cheating while I stayed being the faithful wife, does this make me want to go out and cheat, no, because again I value myself but knowing that he didn't hurt's like hell.

  34. This has been confirmed by studies and research as well as common sense experience, and not really in dispute. Replica Air Yeezy

  35. I've been in a relationship for 6 years. He was my first, big love (I'm not sure I can ever move on). We had a wonderful love story, I was sure he loved me, and I never questioned his loyalty, I should mention I am a very naive 23-years-old. 2 years ago I found out that he cheated on me, and he had been doing that during the whole story. I was so heartbroken, I swear, I had never experienced a pain like that. He swore he never, not for a second stopped loving me. I am sure he was really meaning that, that is the way he can love. Anyways, I left him and moved to another country, trying to forget about him, but I just couldn't. After him begging so much to forgive him and trust him again, I ended up doing so and coming back for him (I couldn't be more ashamed of that). Everybody here must think I am stupid, and with low self estimate... We got engaged, I was again blindly trusting him, couple of days ago I found out he was cheating me AGAIN, and the worst is that he just keeps swearing and denying that... OMG! How could he do this to me???

    1. He saw me suffering the first time, and now again... I feel very very bad, not only because of his betrayal, also because I regret so much I forgave him so many things, and still believed in him. Now his bitch is calling me a low life because I took him back, she says she can have fun with him every time she wants, anyway I'm gonna be waiting to hug him when they finish. This is so nasty and discounting. I hate myself. And hate him, and all his bitches who knew about us being together. This hurts, you pigs! It's the worst you can do to your partner, if you have ANY feelings at all for them, be f**king honest.

  36. A man who truly loves his woman will never cheat on her, regardless... A man who is responsible and matured enough to understand the consequences of his actions... A man who cheats is obviously unhappy and unsatisfied with the woman he is being with, but with the fear of being alone instead of letting the woman go he cheats. But trying to make sure he has a fall back when things didnt work with the other person. Just an opinion, i could be wrong. Good Luck gals.

  37. okay so i recently broke up with my ex boyfriend, i was with him for 2 years and although it doesn't seem much long, I've been through hell and back with him. He got into a bad car accident, doctors thought he wouldn't make it, he was in a coma for over a week and everyday the prognosis got worse and worse . I'm young, only 18, but i stood by him in the hospital everyday, while he was in his coma i'd stay in his room talking to him till all hrs of the night, when he finally woke up i helped him communicate and helped wash him up and helped him use the bathroom. basically everything i could for him. one day i went through his phone and saw that he was talking to multiple girls, a lot of people blame his accident because hes not 100% there just yet. but then one night found msgs that revealed that way before his accident he was having and affair and was still trying to "hook up" with the chick. since we've broken up hes become so depressed and still tries to talk to me and get back with me. i really love him but i bent over backwards for him and was as strong as i could be for him (im not usually a strong person) and all he did was basically give me a big "FUCK YOU" i guess i just wanna know if he ever even loved me to begin with... any advice?

  38. Let me get this straight. . . So men can cheat & lie to feed their egos and because they need variety in their lives and women are just gonna have to accept that? Oh Okay. . i swear people act like women don't like variety and wanna feed our own egos. We get bored too by the way. Bottom line, EVERYONE thinks about cheating at some point. That doesnt mean you have to act out on it. This is just another excuse a so called "Man" wants to make to brainwash women with. -___-

  39. I am an attractive slim 51 year old female. I was married to my husband for 21 years. We never had any children together but I pretty well raised his two young children. When I look back the red flags were everywhere!! I simply chose not to listen. My ex-husband was always a flirt but in the early days I knew he wasn't actually sleeping with anyone. I was only 29 and simply didn't know to run the other way, I was truly in love with him. In our 20th year of marriage is when I learned he was cheating. It was so devastating, the hurt and anger really can't sum up what a person goes through when you experience this betrayal. I read this article and it made me feel very sorry for men who live this way. It seems so shallow and cruel. Not sure why if what you say is true would this type of man want to settle down with anyone. It is very apparent this type of person will one day experience either dying alone because they have never had the courage to stick to anything real or Karma will come full circle and the same thing will happen to them when they think the right person has come along. I find it very interesting that men of this character usually pick very young girls mostly because they simply aren't evolved enough to have a healthy relationship with someone in their age bracket. The wonderful thing in todays age is many women make very good money and really don't need a man to support them like in our mothers day. Even though this has happened to me I feel very blessed that I understand what a true man looks like and I know he doesn't look like the men described in this article.

  40. Announcement:

    Hi everyone. This is the author of the blog. Sorry I haven't done much maintenance around here. I found a ton of spell caster spam here, so I went ahead and deleted all of it today.

    So the comment section should be free of them now. Now you can read all the comments here and respond to them without all that spam getting in the way. Thanks for commenting.

  41. An joy testimony on a spell caster who brought my husband back to me..
    My name is paul joy i live in CANADA,and I'm happily married to a lovely
    and caring husband,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family
    five months ago,between me and my terrible that she took the
    case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me
    again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and
    made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible
    means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no in Vail.and she
    confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me
    So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of
    mine who asked of my husband.So i explained every thing to her,so she told
    me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster
    called DR;Ogul because it has really worked for her too.So i never believed
    in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave
    me the email address of the spell caster {} whom she
    So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the
    spell caster assured me that i will get my husand back the next day.What an
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    husband who didn't call me for the past seven months,gave me a call to
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    came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for
    her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that
    day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help
    of a spell caster DR; OGUL.
    So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website {},if you are in any condition like this,or you have any
    problem related to "bringing your ex back.
    So thanks to the DR; ogul for bringing back my husband,and brought great
    joy to my family once can email him
    Thanks... DR; OGUL.or how contact: 0092348108060242

  42. Hello everyone i found out about a spell caster that can help you bring back your ex lover or fiance. this spell caster helped me a week ago after i contacted him to help me, he make my ex boyfriend to come back to me within 2days and ever since my lover came back to me he now shows me so much love more than before. Here is the spell caster email Dr.Kwale on he can help you get back with your lover.

    I AM AMANDA MORELLI my husband dumped me 9(nine) months ago after I accused him of seeing another girl. I wanted him back in my life but he refused to have any contact with me. He changed his mobile number, blocked me from sending him mails and even on facebook. I was so confused and lost concentration that made me lose my job, it was disastrous. I kept seeing on several blogs how a spell caster keeps helping people get their ex back and I contacted this spell caster called Dr OYAKHILOMEN for help, he assured me in 48hours that my ex will return to me, and to my greatest surprise my ex called me for the first time since we broke up. I am so happy that my love is back again, we are now happier than ever and I have gotten a job far better than my previous one, once again thank you Dr OYAKHILOMEN, you are truly gifted and powerful. Email this wonderful man on He is the only answer to your problems. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing his name for the good work he did for me . again his email address is

  44. I have been to many spell casters and talked to many physics, but they all have been scammers…. I would hope from one to another in hopes of one using there gifts to help people. How could someone use this gift and just tell you or help you enough to get your money… Then I stumbled on Papa… Thinking to myself don’t fall for it again… I took a chance being that I never saw video testimonials on any web site before and reading about him made him seem like a nice guy.. So I scheduled my reading and boy was it accurate. He was kind called and the right time on the dot… He touched on my problem and then hit a few other areas that I didn’t even discuss. He suggested spell work… One for him to do and a kit for me to do to help save me money. I saved my money and purchased both. With in 1 day of him casting his part of the spell my ex was back and wanted to marry me and settle down!! It was amazing!! But shortly after I could not get over the fact that my ex had cheated on me and that was all I saw in the relationship.. Her and Him.. I was stuck in the past… So I emailed Papa for help and he actually got back to me.. I thought since my work was done he wouldn’t care anymore unless I bought another reading, but he kindly explained that I needed to decide what was best for me and if I left her that I would never have another chance with her… So make sure it was what I wanted…

  45. Je viens de découvrir ce site et je l'ai lu. Il est très gentil et je reçois beaucoup pense aux différents drapeaux. Alors merci de me poster. Je visite souvent sur ​​ce site. Pour plus d'informations, visitez le

    Site de Rencontre Pour Homme

  46. Oh my God, I'm so glad to tell everyone the real thing that happen to me...My name is EMILIANO BABARAH. If i refuse to share this testimony it means i am selfish to my self and to people i love so much whom might have similar problems, March 16th about something 7:23pm after taken our dinner my husband got crazy started calling a lady name Melisa I love you, i was so mad and started crying like a baby...then my husband left home for the idiot called Melisa, and never return back home then i believed when he uthen nderstand his self he will surly come back to apology, but instead he left me So i complained to my friend she told me she was having such problems in her marriage until she was introduce to DR ORIOMON who specializes in bringing back broken homes and broken marriages DR ORIOMON cast a spell for me in May 4th surprisingly my husband came home May 6th apologizing that i should forgive him that it will never happen again, i was so glad and gave the thanks to DR ORIOMON who save my marriage, if you are having similar problem you can contact him and His email address is ( you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband.


  47. Hi everyone,I have just read all of the posts and I am in tears! My life for the past 10 yrs has been,I dont know how to put it, I guess loney and loveless. Im 26 I ve been with my fiance for 10 yrs and we have 2 sons. Our oldest 7 has AS too and my youngest 3 has autism. I feel so lonely in my family, none of them understand me at all and dont try. I feel like ive lost myself. I is much harder to deal with my Fiance then my kids of course, because I shouldnt have to parent him. I dont want to parent 3 people, I want love. He doesnt even feel love I dont think! Im very sad thinking that I am putting my self in this postion, to never put myself 1st or get anything I need or want it life. My family nor his gets it and they say that because he works and takes care of his family with money I should be happy enough. I wish there were groups where iI live but I havent found and yet. Im very happy to find other people out there dealing with this, because living life like this is very lonely. I would love to start talking with some of you,all things happen because great Iseh James was very great to me,after he help me getting back my man every thing have be working fine.Please you can contact he for help so you can be happy in your relationship.Email him at;

  48. This is a testimony that I will tell to every one to hear. I have been married four 4 years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another man had a spell to take my lover away from me and my wife left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2 years until I met a post where this man DOCTOR UDO have helped someone and I decided to give him a try to help me bring my lover back home and believe me I just send my picture to him and that of my wife and after 48 hours as he have told me, I saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my wife and she have come to me and the kids and that is why I am happy to make every one of you in similar to meet with this man and have your lover back to your self. His email:

  49. I am posting on this site on how a great me bring back my ex husbandr after 9 months of divorce with two kids. I love him so much,so a friend of mine clara introduced this Dr to me who also help her. he did a spell to bring him back within 24 hours, now we are together no more fight and argument. my lover now loves me more than any thing in the wolrd Thank for helping me bring back my husband to me. If you need any help like
    contact him via email: ( call +2348156885231 for help.

  50. >Hello my name is frank Marian from USA I never
    >believe in love spells until I experience Dr.
    > DR Ofemo temple, and after he cast a love spell for me
    >my Ex called me to apologize for the pain that she has
    >caused me and till today we are living a happy family,
    >if you need a right place to solve your problems
    >contact DR is the right choice. he is a
    >great man that have been casting spells with years of
    >experience, he cast spells for different purposes like:

    >(1)If you want your ex back.
    >(2) if you always have bad dreams.
    >(3)You want to be promoted in your office.
    >(4)You want women/ men to run after you.
    >(5)If you want a child.
    >(6)[You want to be rich.
    >(7)You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours
    >(8)If you need financial assistance.
    >(9)Herbal care
    >Contact him today on:

  51. I want to testify of what a spell caster did for me and my hubby.we have been married since 2007 without a sign of pregnancy.I went off birth control then and did not have a gyro gave me progesterone to jump-start a period and it did.,but i did not have another one.we did another round of progesterone followed by 100mg clomid for 5 months,we followed all doctors instructions but all to no avail.I have been buying ovulation kits pregnancy test AND i finally got 3 test when i was ovulating! So ever since that we been trying for years now! Well i was very confused because i keep taking ept test AND they all keep turning out to b negative! I really want a baby girl while my hubby want a baby boy LOLL! I think maybe we are just trying So hard, What i can tell you is that its been so many years now and i still yet do not have my period??nobody to help because every body around us was already at the verge of losing their faith on were to run to until one faithful day i was reading a magazine and i stumble on a page were i found topic or a head line {A SPELL CASTER} who can heal someone from HIV AND AIDS,bring back your EX,enlarge your BREAST,help you win a VISA LOTTERY,losing your WEIGHT and even get six PACKS AND flatten your BELLY,I gave her a try and before i could no it Mama Isiabel rescued me from my problem by casting a spell for me and told me to go and make love with my hubby,then i did,and after nine months i delivered a twins A BOY AND A GIRL. after all this , i said to my self that i wont just testify on line, but make the whole world see and hear of her.This spell caster name is Mama Isiabel. so many people have witness her wonderful work..She is nice, contact he if you are in any predicament email her immediately without doubts•Thanks so very much!!

    Mama Isiabel

  52. Valencia
    I am out here to spreed this good news to the entire world on how i got my ex love back.I was going crazy when my love left me for another girl last month,But when i meet a friend that introduce me to Prophet Osula the great messenger to the oracle that he serve,I narrated my problem to Prophet Osula about how my ex love left me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After it was been done,In the next 1 to 2 days,My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the entire world to contact Prophet Osula at the following email address and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to solve..Contact him direct on: and get your problems solve like me..

  53. My name is Stacy Blair. This is a testimony that I will tell to every one to hear. I have been married four 4 years and on the fifth year of my marriage, another woman had a spell to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2 years until I met a post where this man DOCTOR UDO have helped someone and I decided to give him a try to help me bring my lover back home and believe me I just send my picture to him and that of my wife and after 48 hours as he have told me, I saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my wife and she have come to me and the kids and that is why I am happy to make every one of you in similar to met with this man and have your lover back to your self. His email: (

  54. Hello every one, I really want to share my testimony to the hearing of the general public on this site about how DR EHI helped me, December 2013, I saw a post on a particular site shearing testimony on how the great spell caster brought back her ex who name is Jerry so I just see it common and i said let me see what will happen because my husband left me and my three kids for another woman just like that, i and my husband was married for six years living happily before i new what was going on, he left me and go for another woman so when i saw the post, i contacted the spell caster on his email and he told me i should not worry that my husband will come back to me in three days after once he finish casting the reunite spell and to my greatest surprise, i now have my husband back to me again and i want to use this medium to let every body know that this is real and if you are out there having this same problem please contact the great spell caster on his email now because he can do the unexpected. his email is or email him directly on his web site . I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK.

  55. I am Latchmie, i never believes in spells and magic until i experienced one sometimes ago and it really worked for me. I was in love with this guy and he was in love with me for 4 years and we were Ready to get married until this a lady strolled along and took my man away from me. i was really devastated so i contact a friend of mine who now introduce me to Dr. Stanley, and he said that he is going to help me cast a spell that we bring back my man within three day and truly to the word i got my man back within the three day as promised by Dr. Stanley. You can contact him via his email address or call +2348038139297. If you need his help..........{Latchmie}

  56. I had a huge bust up with my partner and he left me, i was so frustrated and i email Dr. Stanley and he said he could help, I must admit, I was very, very skeptical as didn't really believe he would be back after all he said, but it was just a few days when he phoned and asked to come over to talk, we talked and talked and the silly misunderstanding was all forgiven and we are back together now for good, all thanks to, I would highly recommend his services, they do really, really work. Lynda.