Here are the main reasons why
1) I do not fit the cultural ideal of a male in this country at all, so most women here will never consider me as even a friend, even if we have a lot in common. I am simply viewed as an out-of-bounds non-factor.
2) American women in general are unapproachable and don't talk to strangers. They don’t meet people unless it’s through mutual friends. If I attempt to meet them or interact with them for other non-business related reasons, then they see me as a creep, , or psycho. Hence, I'm theoretically not allowed to act on my desires, express or pursue them. (Or, I am allowed to have desires, as long as I don’t act on them without permission from women, which they never give me anyway). But, as I have strong desires and passions for sex and romance with females, this is unacceptable to me and a form of constant inner torture.
3) I tend to prefer the company of women over men, finding them more interesting, challenging and stimulating. I don’t enjoy the company of men unless they are interesting in some way or very intelligent or intellectual. The average guy, who is macho, bragging, exaggerating, and arrogant, just plain bores me and has nothing to offer or contribute to me. Thus, I tend to have more female friends and acquaintances than male. But the problem with that in America is that overwhelmingly, only the men are social and easy to meet, while the women are generally the exact opposite. Instead, they are closed, paranoid, defensive, stuck up, and cliquish. In no other country have I ever seen such a difference in the sociability of the two genders. Thus, in the US I tend to be limited to male friends and acquaintances, which is not my preference as stated above. So to put it simply: I prefer the company of women over men, generally speaking, but in America generally only the men are sociable while the women are not.
4) In the
5) There are two general types of people in America that most, though not all, fit into – the productive conformist types whose lives revolve around work/career and their home routine, and those considered fun, cool, outgoing types whose lives revolve around parties, clubs, bands and concerts. I don't click or resonate with either type.
In most other countries and continents though, the above factors do not pose an obstacle to me.
Simply put, I’m not materialistic, I’m not a workaholic, and the girls aren’t approachable to me, so what does
Social skills with the flow vs. against the flow
I would surmise that different sets of social skills are required in different environments, just as different behaviors are appropriate around different people. It is not a case of “one social skill” fits all. In my case, trying to be social in
I have even tested this by pretending in
I know that there are many outgoing sociable people in the US, so it's possible to be that way, however, they are outgoing and sociable on a different frequency or wavelength than me, which makes me feel awkward and unnatural to try to emulate. It’s as if the way they are social though, is with this weird artificial front that I don’t wish to emulate in order to jive with them.
On the other hand, when I am outgoing and sociable in
So it seems that being outgoing or fitting in with others here requires a different type of social skills than in other countries. In some countries, my social skills and communication fits the flow and has synergy with the people there. But in others, it doesn’t.
This may all be a bit difficult for some to visualize, and it’s not easy for me to describe either. It’s a flow that you just have to experience, though I admit that not everyone will experience or perceive a “flow”, “rhythm” or “vibe” the same way, as individual perceptions vary.
Here is an example of what I mean. These are words of some typical airhead valley girls to their girlfriends on MySpace.com. These are the type of people who are part of the “cool crowd” in
“J-TELL!!!!!!!!! GIRLFRIEND!!!! i miss u liken ens!!! YOu better be holding it down in BHAM for me MISSAYY.......i cant wait to hang out with you..i wish u were here with us KPJ i mean come on now haha welll my dear have a lovely night babyyyyyy!!!!!!! FRIDAY Night and i belive tomorrow is APRIL FOOLS DAY GIRL!! HAHA U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!heheH love ya girl!!!”
JENNIFER..its official..im comingg to walla wallaa....HAHAHA WOOO HOO..you let kayla know that...its time TO Getttt wild..i will be arriving..on APRIL 21sts....YEAY im so excited jenn I LOVE YOUU andd i cant wait to see you...haha take me to the wild whitman parties please?? haha...oh LOrd ...maybe we can lie to peopel again and pretend we are twins..or whatever we said..it was funny...hahaN
hahaha JENNNN..i LOVE you...haha OBTAIN A PERMISSION SLIP?????well MISSYYY...let me tell you..maybe we can just transfer the trampoline permission slip over to the partying one?? do u think LYD could hook it up??...i thikn she could pull it off...CREWWW.hahahaha oh lord..well yea..im coming...prob this month..sooo BEtter be on the lookout for some..feLLUZzz we cannnnnn Parttyyy it up with“
As you can see, the words, tone, and wavelength are very airheadish and artificial. It’s like in order to fit into these girls’ “flow” you have to adopt the same tone and wavelength. Now look at how I write here in this treatise which reveals my flow of thought which is organized, insightful, focused and articulate. How the hell am I supposed to resonate, click or fit into the flow of such people who are considered the “cool crowd”? In fact, how the hell am I even supposed to hold a basic conversation with them?! They are like empty bags of air! Sheesh, nowhere else on Earth do young people talk like that, so airheadish and artificial.