Sunday, December 30, 2007

10 reasons why I’m forced to look for love beyond America


I'll put this as honestly as I can, with no BS, no beating around the bush, and no sugar-coating or "watering down" of the facts about why I am excluded from the dating scene in America.

The reasons that the dating scene in America is a no-win situation that doesn't work for me are:

1) I don't fit any of the culturally desirable types of guys that American girls want

I am a short Asian male which is the opposite of the cultural ideal in this country. Young American women desire the following types of guys, none of which I am one of: a) tall sporty athletic Caucasian males, b) scruffy looking punk/skater types, c) beach boy/surfer dude types, d) bad boy types with goatees, and tattoos, e) jocks/athletic types (who are white of course), f) cowboys/macho men, and of course g) guys in a band. I just don't look like any of those types, therefore, I'm not on their wish list or preference. To them, a preppy looking clean-cut kind intelligent Asian male has nothing to offer them, even if he has way more money than those cultural ideal types above that fit American girls' tastes. Hence, they are anti-social to me and see me as zero value.

Now, I am the type of guy that many American women SAY they want – nice, caring, considerate, attentive, considerate, intelligent, with many interests, New Age type, etc. but in REALITY they go for the bad boy types, and then complain later, “Where are all the nice men?” Thus, they shoot themselves in the foot and contradict themselves. How wholesome they are, NOT! In reality, “nice men” are everywhere, they just don’t want them.

2) My ethnicity is considered the least desirable among males to American girls

Among males in the US, Asian men are considered the least desirable race in this country in terms of attraction to American women. They are the equivalent to Black females, who are also considered the least desirable in America in the female racial hierarchy. American females' racial preferences are in this order 1-Whites, 2-Hispanics, 3-Blacks, 4-Asians/East Indians. For those who beg to differ, this order of preference is very evident even in personal ads. For example, if you browse through thousands of American women's personal ads on match.com (something which I have done), you will find that most of them prefer to meet only white Caucasian men. Less than half are open to interracial relationships/dating. And among those that do, they prefer Hispanics and Blacks. Very few are open to Asians or list "Any" under racial preference. Any cursory glance of female personal ads in America will reveal this. There simply is no debate. Even Hollywood movies depict this preference.

Now, some older American women occasionally come out to me and protest, "That's not true, I like Asian men!" but of course, she is just an individual (one "x" among nine "o"s doesn't erase the majority of the "o"s) whereas we are talking about the collective preference, and second, older women tend to be less superficial about looks anyway, due to their mature and lower desirability than young women. Plus, I've noticed that, as with the “I want a nice guy” claim above, many American women who SAY they like Asian men, in reality never date them.

3) My height disqualifies me as well

Also, women are genetically imbred to prefer taller and bigger guys because their instincts think they look like they are better providers and a strong foundation to lean on. Most women won’t even consider a guy who is not at least 5ft 9. And since I am only 5ft 7, I’m just not in the running to them.

4) Most of my qualities are inner, which only older women appreciate

Since most of my good qualities are inner rather than outer, it seems that only women much older (too old for me) appreciate them, rather than younger women or even women my age. And that’s why usually women too old for me reply to my personal ads on Craigs List. The reason, according to one of my consultants, is:

“Because when they are older they lose their beauty and develop inner qualities as well. So they value those in others. Younger girls do not have them and they only have the outward qualities so they value those in others too. They cannot relate to inner ones since they do not have any yet.”

And gee, that just sucks.

5) No freedom to act out my natural genetically-encoded desires for women

In America, young independent women walk around with their nose in the air and give men this vibe that subliminally conveys “You are not to have desires around me. You are to act girly and emasculate, UNLESS I give you permission to want me by coming on to you. I call all the shots. Not you.”

Simply put, men aren't free to "act out" or "act on" their desires toward women (as they are in most other countries), unless a woman gives him permission to, of course. But the problem for me is that women never give me permission to act out my desires for them. So what am I to do? I definitely have VERY strong desires for romance, love, sex and intimacy. But what can I do about it?! I can't constantly restrain these desires 24/7. Get real American society!

And of course, I can't always afford to hire hookers at $200 an hour. Get real. And even if I could, they lack any genuine affection and treat it as all business, which is a real turnoff (I have heard though that non-white "working girls" though, tend to give genuine affection to their clients and treat it like a date). So that wouldn't be enough to satisfy me anyway.

No, I need REAL physical and emotional affection from a woman I'm compatible with who is consistent, sees me regularly, a regular partner to me, and won't flake out or make excuses not to see me. Lots of other guys I see around me have that, so why can't I?! It's not that much to ask for, especially from a good person! I tell God and the universe this everyday, but no real relationship ever solidifies, no matter how hard I try or what I do or how many women I meet. Where is the justice in this universe?

6) US women have so many choices that I don't even have a chance

Young women in America simply have way too many choices. Guys are constantly after them, hitting on them, calling them, asking for dates, etc. And naturally, when you have so many choices, you become super picky, or you don't choose anyone at all.

Average looking men like me simply have no chance. They have all the upperhand, and whether we treat them right or not, it doesn't matter, cause we aren't their "type" and they look down on us.

In defense and in admission of having too many choices, an attractive close female friend of mine said:

"having a million choices doesn't mean you want any of them. so it doesn't matter.

if i meet a million guys all asking me out and YOU consider them GREAT, but they BORE me, i'm not any more satisfied than u are not satisfied with the offers u get. GET IT? it's all relative."

Uh geez! How picky can you get? If I had a lot of choices, I sure wouldn’t complain! At least she feels wanted. (Note: I did get her to admit later though, that if no guys wanted her, that she would in fact develop complexes about it)

Perhaps my cultural advisor put it best when he said:

"The USA for women is like Bangkok for men. Women can have any man they want. But if people ask for advice about how to score with American women they can never get a straight answer or a correct answer:

1) It is not PC to admit that AW are racist and they do not like Asian men. So, they will advise you all kinds of BS and tell you to improve your hair style, your clothing, work on social skills. All while AW look ugly, have no social skills, often smell bad, are fat and STILL GET THE MOST HANDSOME GUYS AROUND. Something is wrong. Very wrong.

2) If you get advice from Americans, most probably they will not be travelers. So, again, they will not see the proper perspective on things.

Just get your ass over to the Philippines."

7) Bubble/force field around young modern American women toward strangers

In America, young women don’t like talking to strangers, are paranoid and stuck up toward them, and in their own little bubbles/islands. Only old people and little kids are sociable and relaxed toward strangers. But not young women. No way. They are a different dimension and wavelength.

American women tend to ignore those that aren’t part of their clique, talking to strangers only for business or money related matters. In fact, they are defensive, anti-social, and paranoid toward them. They have this bubble/force field around them that makes it feel inappropriate to try to meet them, making you feel like a creep or if you even try (or dare to have desires for them). And if you do penetrate their "bubble", it causes an energy drain in your vibe/aura, to the point where the more you try, the less will and motivation you have to try again. Thus, having nature-given genetically-encoded desires for women makes you feel like a criminal in America, an oddity indeed. This makes meeting women in America SUPER-HARD and unnatural, to say the least.

Though Americans tend to be in a "bubble" more than people in other countries, due to our strong sense of individualism and lack of interconnectedness that other countries have, the females tend to have a much STRONGER bubble around them than the males do. This has been attested to as obvious by both men and women.

In fact, you rarely see American females even alone in public, but mostly males who are sitting alone and open to being approached. Females tend to hang in groups, with girlfriends, or with their boyfriends/husbands, out in public. And even if they are alone, they usually prefer being alone, for if you ask to join them, they will say that they are enjoying valuable time off and prefer to be by themselves. It is very difficult to find one alone and open to meeting strangers. But, of course, you can find that easily abroad.

But unfortunately, even when I do meet women in America, it’s still like a lose-lose situation for me, because one of the following always happens:

a) They talk to me for a few minutes and then say, “Well it was nice meeting you” and then go off and I usually never see them again.

b) I ask them out and they respond with either “I have a boyfriend/husband” or “I’m too busy to go out and I work/study too much” or “I don’t date, I spend all my time with my baby” or “I just got out of a serious relationship and am not looking right now” or they agree to a date but flake out/not show up later.

So you see, in the big picture, there’s no way to win. Either way, I lose. Why should I play such a losing chess game?

8) High rate of flake-outs and making excuses

In short, no matter how many girls I meet in America, they always tell me they are taken, not looking, or flake out on me.

After meeting me, for some reason, probably a combination of the above reasons, women tend to make excuses not to spend time with me after meeting me, even if they enjoyed our time together and have a lot in common with me. After our first meeting or date, they tend to either 1- get too busy with work and life to make any time to see me, or 2- suddenly go through emotional stress/problems and claim to need to spend time alone. Or they come up with some other BS excuse, never offering or proposing an alternate or available date to see me again. And if I check back again later, they come up with something else. This happens even when I've done nothing wrong, treated them well, given them a great time, or even if we have tons in common and seem to connect well or are very compatible.

In other countries, all you have to do to get a date is pay a few compliments and flattering words to a woman you desire, and you got it. But in the US, that's nowhere near enough. Compliments to a woman usually results in a simple "thank you" or feeling that you are a creep. And simply asking them out upfront usually results in responses such as "I have a boyfriend, I'm busy, I am so stressed that I spend all my free time alone, I'm not looking for anyone, I don't know you." etc. With warped logic, they assume by default that ANY man who tries to spend time with them, even platonically or just to talk, is after her body and “objectifies” her. It’s a false assumption and false logic that they hold, that creates an unfeminine no-win situation for men.

On the internet alone, over 90 percent of American females tend to stop talking to me and disappear after they see my photo (unless they're old and don't care), EVEN if we have a lot in common or they like what they hear about me and my qualities. This fact alone totally DEBUNKS the assertion of many naive Americans that women are rejecting me cause of defects in my personality or attitude, for clearly I am being rejected based on looks in this case repeatedly.

That almost never happens with foreign women, even if they're from industrialized countries. I'm not saying that foreign women don't care about looks. They are influenced by them too, but not to the degree that American girls are. Sure, foreign women have rejected me too, but the flake-out rate on me (in person and online) is nowhere near as high as in the states.

I’ve also met hundreds of girls in person from the internet in America. And you know what? None of them wanted to see me a second time, except for maybe two or three, but they only wanted to meet again as friends. Does that indicate that the dating scene in the US is to my advantage? And it was not due to any fault of my own, as I did nothing wrong. These girls had impossible standards, and couldn’t even hold an intelligent conversation. So if the problem is with me, then how come I don’t have any problems holding conversations with foreign women and meeting them more than once?

To those who tell me that I must lower my standards (albeit an unrealistic suggestion since first, I don't have high standards, and second, I can't force myself to be attracted to someone I'm not), consider this. Even fat ugly women have rejected me in the same way (before I can reject them too lol) simply because, although they can't get anyone either, I still don't fit their "tastes". A lot of chubby women that no guys want still prefer "punk rock" type guys.

9) Being overly tough, aggressive, masculine, confident, they need someone stronger than them

Nowadays, for some reason, American women act overly tough, aggressive, overly confident to the point of being masculine, in their behavior and speech. They are very different from the classical feminine persona of being sweet, tender, modest, romantic, and empathetic. Rather than being gentle, soft, and tender on the inside, they are cold, harsh, abrupt, angry, hateful, snobby, bitchy and ready to diss anyone who accidentally steps on their toes. Also, they behave as though they own everything and have the final say on all.

Modern American women also tend to be harsh, abrupt, business-like, and are able to easily say cruel or hurtful things without remorse or regret. To me, that’s just sociopathic (or perhaps they just have an alien soul to me, who knows).

Therefore, of course, since we all know that women want someone stronger than them, so they can feel protected. That means I've got to be even more tough, aggressive, masculine and confident than they are, to even be considered.

Well it's not that I'm not. It's just that my true strength is inner rather than outer, and keeping it that way feels the most balanced to my overall persona. Outwardly, I am naturally gentle and tender, and so of course they will perceive me as weaker than them. Therefore, in that sense, I'm also not their type, besides not being the cultural ideal. But what can I say? I can't be something I'm not.

Foreign women, on the other hand, tend to be much more modest, humble, gentle, tender, and less aggressive. The difference is too obvious. Thus, who I truly am is a better match-up with them.

10) American women hate men and don't need men

Nowadays, American women have this inner hatred toward men, fueled by feminism and talk shows such as Oprah. You can see it on their faces in public, this anti-men look on their faces, expression, and vibe.

In America, women can treat men like shit, but men aren't allowed to complain about it because in America's politically correct feminist culture, women are never wrong and can do no wrong. Hence it's taboo and politically incorrect to go against that.

In addition, they are so independent, strong, overly confident, and masculine that they don't really even need men. They believe in having productive, fulfilling lives without them. Many are perfectly happy to just work and go shopping in their spare time. They see themselves as complete, independent and view men as an unnecessary luxury that often causes more trouble than good.

You can see it in the way they walk and behave, as if they have no need to bond/connect with others, seek romance, open their hearts and minds, etc. Instead, they are business-like and cold, only speaking to strangers if it's business or money related. It's as if they are incapable of loneliness and are too fulfilled and busy to bother investing in others. And they walk around with their nose in the air and give men this vibe that subliminally conveys “You are not to have desires around me. You are to act girly and emasculate, UNLESS I give you permission to want me by coming on to you. I call all the shots. Not you.”

I just don't agree with that. I believe that men and women should need each other. Why should I pursue someone who doesn't need me, won’t emotionally attach herself to me, and doesn’t even make time to spend with me? Why give your heart, feelings and emotions to someone who won't truly give their heart/emotions back? It just seems pointless. And very unromantic as well.

Conclusion:

So you see, in America, I'm just never in the dating . I'm totally shut out and excluded from it. It's one thing to get used, cheated on, etc. like those who are "in the " deal with, but people like me aren't even called up to bat. And that's the worst position to be in. I'd rather even be used than never in the game.

These things above happen to me constantly even after meeting thousands of women. It just never changes. They all either tell me that they are taken, not looking, or flake out. And if an exception seems to be brewing, getting me all excited, it always turns out to be just a farce and temporary. That’s just unacceptable to me.

Even if I am in a situation where the women far outnumber the men, such as a cooking class, yoga class, swing dance club, or college girls dorm, I’m still never “in the game” because they see me as “not dating material”, not their type, and project asexual, prudish vibes at me, keeping interaction with me to a bare minimum, humoring me at best if they have to. In fact, even when I meet a girl who complains that no one wants to date her, and I say that I am interested in dating her, she will usually act as though she didn’t hear it.

Thus, I would say that America probably has the worst dating scene in the world for me. I don't think any other country in the world would totally shut me out of the dating scene and exclude me from it, the way that America does.

Therefore, these reasons help explain why I hate the dating scene in America so much, and why it's a no-win situation for me. I simply feel suffocated and tortured under these conditions, never being allowed to act out my natural desires for women, being required to restrain them 24/7 (an impossible expectation of American women on me). And there seem to be no logical solutions or remedy for me in the states. I've tried everything, both conventional and unconventional, more than you can imagine, and nothing works. It's either a case of bad circumstances, bad karma/fate, or both.

Whatever the case, I can't accept it and won't give up. If going overseas is the only remedy to the above, and the only way to put me "in the " then so be it. And even if the critics of overseas love-seeking are right (which they are not) that I would get "used" overseas by "desperate women", it's still better than the aforementioned conditions of being totally shut out of the game. Besides, a desperate man is better off going for desperate women anyway, than pursuing super picky Western women with too many choices who don't need him, don't find him to be her type (preferring football players, punks, and bad boys), and don’t ever give him a chance. At least with the former I have a chance, whereas with the latter I have no chance.

But for some reason, these critics don't get that and don't see the big picture.

Nowadays American women have such a high sense of ENTITLEMENT that goes OFF THE CHART! It makes it nearly impossible for guys like me to get dates. And to make things worse, American women always claim to be too busy to date or spend time with me, always, especially in this workaholic society where people make money and mind their own business. So what am I supposed to do, wait for them forever and masturbate while watching useless junk on cable TV? No way! I can just go ABROAD where lots of gorgeous women, most of them tall, skinny and pretty/cute, have plenty of time for me! Why stay in a sinking ship, simply because it’s TABOO to think or talk about getting off it? America is CRAZY!

As my cultural advisor said above, “The USA for women is like Bangkok for men.” So why stay on a sinking ship? Why play a losing game? Why not go to where I can have the same upperhand that women do in the USA, such as the Philippines or Thailand (Bangkok)? I am just as deserving as they are (in my opinion). I’d rather be in an area or situation where I have more of an upperhand in the dating field, as it should be. And if it comes down to two desperate people “using” each other, then so be it. It means a lot to me, and no one has the right to tell me that I should continue to suffer and play a losing game instead.

Logical reasons why my standards are not “too high” in America

Let me tell you something else. The dating scene in America is so bad for men now, that I can’t even get fat ugly chicks anymore. You see, even they have their tastes and sense of entitlement. A lot of them, it seems, want the country western rugged cowboy type. They don’t just want any man that’s nice to them, for they’ve been taught by their culture not to settle until they get what they want, the best for them. And of course, I don’t look like the rugged country western cowboy type.

Likewise, they are not my type or taste either, as I am attracted to tall thin women.

What’s strange and irrational though, is that critics of my dating rants often claim that I am reaching too far out of “my league”, and ought to settle for women that I’m unattracted to who are more in “my league”. There are some core problems with that. First, I can’t force myself to be attracted to someone I’m not. It would make me unhappy, and it wouldn’t be right, nor even possible. Second, even if American dating culture put me in the same “league” as fat ugly women, it still wouldn’t matter, because simply put, I’m not their type and they aren’t my type. So it could never work, even if I’m in their “league” by cultural standards.

But in spite of that, technically I should not be in the same “league” as fat ugly women because I am NOT fat or ugly. Sure I may be a few pounds overweight, but I am not obese. So there is no logical reason why I would be in the same “league” or category as them. Thus, these critics are not making any sense, nor are they being realistic.

The only thing I have in common with fat ugly chicks is that we are both considered unattractive by US cultural standards. However, everyone who is unattractive in US culture should not automatically be put in the same category, especially since I don’t look anything like them, and even more so, since attractive women abroad consider me in their “league” or sometimes even above their “league” (as the case is in the Philippines). Therefore, there is no logical reason why we should be in the same “league”.

Also, my standards are not that high, so I beg to differ on that too. Here’s why. I simply like thin and cute girls. They may be harder to find in America. But in foreign countries, thin and cute girls are the standard norm, they are the “average” so to speak. Thus, by international standards, my standards are “normal”, not high.

Therefore, technically there should be nothing wrong with me or my standards. That is not the problem. I am simply a mismatch in US dating culture. The logical solution then, would be to go abroad where my “standards” are not considered “too high”, but are normal and attainable. And of course, to where my dating opportunities and likability are higher and vastly greater. So far, that solution has proven to be the correct endeavor.


Saturday, December 29, 2007

10 Reasons Why Filipinas aren't after me for money or a green card

Critics and prejudiced Americans will commonly charge that the women here, as well as in most foreign countries, like me for money and a green card to the US. However, they are wrong because: (please read these bulleted points carefully)

1) Many girls here don't care about my money and STILL like/love me even after they see that I'm a cheapskate and very frugal. They don't even care if I spend money on our dates, as they just like "being with me" and enjoy my funny, charismatic, positive, enthusiastic, personable personality.

2) This is probably the biggest reason, and my cultural consultant, a long time visitor to the Philippines who speaks two Filipino dialects, attests to it too. Most of the Filipinas I’ve met or dated here prefer that their boyfriend or husband stay with them in THEIR country. After all, family is everything to them, and so they prefer to remain close to their immediate and extended family. But if their lover insists, they will try to go overseas, albeit reluctantly. In fact, out of all the many women I’ve dated here, NOT ONE of them has asked me to take them to America or even brought up the subject! That right there DEBUNKS this common misconception. Besides, it is an American myth that most people in other countries want to come to the US. The well traveled know that is not so.

3) I’ve slept with bar girls and girls who normally sleep with men for money here for FREE, simply cause they liked me and found me sweet, romantic, tender and charming! They never asked me for any money! Imagine that. That could never happen to me in the States. That proves right there that they aren’t after me only for money, but that I am very likable and charming to them. And I’ve gotten FREE kisses here from HUNDREDS of girls too, including French kisses from bar girls and dancers that I never paid or bought commissioned ladydrinks for (and NO, they don’t do that to every guy!).

4) A few girls here (but not most) have told me that I’m not their type, for they like white guys or bigger masculine guys. And conversely, I’ve seen some reject white guys in favor of me, because I’m more of the type they like and go for. Now, if it were all about “money and a green card”, then “type” wouldn’t matter now would it? But it does, because relationships and romantic chemistry are personal and subject to taste and chemistry.

5) Filipinas have shown favoritism toward me over other older richer guys or customers. (I can't get into details about how since it wouldn't be appropriate to describe here :)) This also proves that they don't like me just for money, since I am treated better, given favoritism and preferentail treatment over other guys who have more money than me, due to my higher likeability. Some bar girls have reached down from the stage to give me a kiss on the mouth, which they don't do for most customers. I have a fun loving free-spirited personality that a lot of Filipinas resonate with, as well as a sweet romantic side, and a face they find young and handsome (gwapo). Those are the reasons why I am liked so much here that even bar girls let me hang out in their bar without paying or buying any drinks. I’m likable and entertaining to them.

6) I've been able to get acquainted and befriend middle class girls here who have enough money themselves not to need a guy (which I can't do in the states). Sure, the middle or upper class girls aren't easy to "pick up" in public, but they find me interesting and likable too, once they get to know me. And they are willing to spend personal time with me, unlike girls in the US who always make excuses and say they are busy.

7) There are some guys here with looks and money who don’t do well at all with Filipinas. I know one good looking American guy here with a good income from an international job, and my cultural consultant knows a good looking young French guy here with a successful art business. Yet believe it or not, both of them can’t get a girlfriend in the Philippines! They have had nothing but bad luck and bad experiences with the women here. It’s obviously not their looks or status. But rather, something in their vibe and personality just doesn’t jive well with the girls here. Some people’s chemistry just doesn’t mix well with certain countries, just like mine doesn’t mix well in American culture and its fake politeness social culture. Sometimes, things just don’t click, not just between individuals, but between individuals and countries as well. Thus, it’s not all about money and status, like some think. Yet here in the Philippines, my personality seems to jive extremely well with Filipinas as a whole, regardless of whether I’m their physical type or not. And that’s why almost all Filipinas, even those who aren’t into me romantically or are already taken, ENJOY hanging out with me.

8) There are men I know here who have a lot of money and a high class professional occupation. Yet the girls who go out with them look unhappy around them, and don’t stay with them for long. Though they will accept their money and presents, they still leave them after a while because they simply don’t like them and don’t enjoy being with them. Now, if it were all about money, this wouldn’t happen. I’ve seen this happen to doctors, oil company professionals and business owners. As a result, these wealthy men who splurge to impress women, become jaded and cynical, unlike the happy optimistic me who even though poor, wins over women here with charm, looks, sweetness, and confidence. You’ve got to remember that these girls, though mostly poor, are HUMAN BEINGS who, like you, prefer to be with those they LIKE and CLICK with, not just anyone with money and a US passport.

9) From my experience with gold diggers and users in Russia and the Philippines, I’ve come to recognize their common patterns, such as the way they manipulate and tell lies, the way they tell you what you want to hear yet their actions contradict their words, and their tendency to ask for money within the first week of knowing you. And what I can tell you is that MOST of the girls who like me here do NOT exhibit these traits. However, oddly enough, there are some women (and men) who genuinely believe that giving money is a demonstration and sign of true love. These folks see no shame in “buying love” and are proud to utter the phrase “no money, no honey”. Such women will even ask for money from a man she truly loves, seeing nothing wrong with it. But of course, I do not share their values. An effective way I’ve found, to weed these types out is to simply tell them that you are poor and on a tight budget, and act like it. If they disappear after that, then you know what they were probably after. If not, then you’ve got a more genuine girl. Needless to say, if you want to impress somebody, you don’t have to take them to a fancy restaurant everyday; rather, mix it up with several days of going to fast food or cooking at home. A nice sweet Filipina will appreciate that.

10) A high percentage of Filipinas I get involved with tend to like to bite me and pinch me. I was told that they only do that to you if they LIKE you. Certainly if they only wanted to use me, they wouldn’t be biting and pinching me. They only do that to those they like or find adorable, cute, or cuddly.

Some guys see everything in terms of money and economics. Well I’m not one of those guys of course, for I consider many other deeper factors. Not every guy with money can duplicate everything I’ve done. Looks, personality, and attitude are strong factors too, among others, and in this culture, I rank high in those areas to them, which is why I often get preferential and special treatment from girls here over richer guys who are more shallow and not as personable or likable. Let me give you a little pep talk though. In reality, human beings are very complex, and don’t fit into overly simplistic pet theories like “She just wants you for money”. People often don’t make sense and don’t even understand themselves even. So these one shot labels and formulas put together by shallow know-it-all people to try to explain other people just don’t hold in reality. None of the girls here would claim that they like a guy ONLY for money or a green card, and frankly, NONE of them have ever asked me to take them to the US either! (Likewise, no one considers themself “bad”, “evil” or “crazy” either, as we all consider ourselves justified in what we do) These are merely labels we put on others to explain them in OUR MINDS. And in this case, the “they just like you for money and green card” theory comes from the mouths of judgmental people who like to jump to conclusions, and maybe are “all about money” themselves. But they can only speak for themselves, not for others.

If you think though, that all my experiences here are with money grubbing whores, think again. Make no mistake, I can and have gotten NON-WORKING girls to sleep with me on a regular basis. So, please don’t assume all my experiences are with whores. Unlike in Russia, after our dates, they often prefer to go home WITH me rather than without me.

Why I love Filipinas - as lovers, playmates, and best friends

In my opinion, Filipinas make the best girlfriends, lovers, and friends. Compared to females in the other Asian countries, they aren't as strict, serious, prudish or hung up. Instead, they are more relaxed, carefree, happy-go-lucky, easygoing, playful, passionate and sensual. They are also very nonjudgmental and nonracist. And they have a great sense of humor, enjoying the silliest things which easily amuse them. Thus, you can always have fun and joke around or play with them, even if you have nothing else to talk about. That's so nice and refreshing, especially when you are so accustomed to antisociality and hostility from women in the US.

Best of all, they LOVE to flirt. When I flirt with girls in the Philippines, they not only enjoy it, but it actually ADDS FUEL to our chemistry (whereas in the US, flirting with girls "creeped" them out and emanated a vibe of hostility from them). And that's a big thing to me, because I am a big-time flirt!

Filipinas are also a great blend of outer and inner traits. Ethnically, they are Asian, Malay and Spanish, resulting in a very exotic and beautiful mix that is very pleasing and sensual to the eyes. Their exotic sexy sensual olive complexion ranges from light to dark shades, all of which are sexy to me and many other foreigners here. And their attractive highly feminine appearance is combined with a tender romantic loving/caring inner side to them – a fantastic blend to say the least.

They have this warm sensual tender touch in them that white women definitely don’t have (not to sound racist). I’ve experienced it and can understand now why so many foreign men are addicted to the Philippines and to Filipinas. I think it’s a genetic thing, not just a cultural thing, as you can feel it to the bone (and soul). Not to sound racist, but just as brown sugar is healthier than white sugar, and brown rice is healthier than white rice, (as any nutritionist will tell you) perhaps brown skinned women are healthier for your mind, body, and sanity as well. They seem to bring this natural balance to your life and soul.

Thus, I’d say that even if you didn’t have a taste for Filipinas or Asian women before, if you come to the Philippines, you soon will. Once you’re here and experience females of this caliber, any preferences you had will simply go “out the window.”

Not only are most Filipinas either hot or cute, and passionate and tender in bed, but their personality is so soothing, gentle, easy-going and accommodating that they are like my best friends too. They are just so comfortable to be around, in a way that you could never imagine possible in the West.

They are also a great blend of White and Asian traits. Their Spanish blood makes them much more wild, relaxed, passionate and expressive than Orientals such as the Chinese, Japanese, or Koreans, who are non-expressive, robotic and overly serious and strict in comparison. And they have big round eyes that are considered attractive in Western Culture (although to my surprise, my slanted Asian eyes are considered more attractive in Filipino culture than their big round eyes are). They have all the physical beauty of thin feminine Asian women in light and dark colors (“vanilla and chocolate” so to speak), as well as their humble, modest, sweet, pleasing, soothing romantic nature. The only drawbacks to them are that they don’t like to think much, don’t like to answer questions or provide explanations when asked to do so, and are sometimes moody and quiet for unexplainable reasons that they refuse to discuss. It seems in their nature to be that way. Thus you don’t get much intellectual stimulation with them. But the good news is that it’s much easier to train and educate them than it is to teach a Westernized woman to be sweeter and more loving.

Although Filipinas aren't as intellectual, educated, or deep-thinking as the European women are, they make up for it in their other qualities. They have this essence about them, warm sensual tenderness and a way of treating you that makes you feel needed and loved, like a real man, in a way that you had always wished and dreamed deep down but never dared hoped for. It's beyond words - something you have to feel and experience as a man to understand. And when you do, you realize it's what you had always wanted.and even friends. They are tender, sweet, passionate and fun.

In a way, it's like they give new birth to your heart, for if your heart had lost faith in love, they awaken it and renew it with their child-like hope and belief in love, making it a reality for you, and making you a believer again as well.

Four major things I can’t tolerate in America

Now let me state for the record, I don’t hate America as a country. And I am not unpatriotic either, but neither am I a blind patriot who is brainwashed. (In fact, I find patriotism to be illogical and non-objective)

America is great in many ways with some important benefits and advantages - its political/religious freedoms, career/money making opportunities, general orderliness and efficient control/planning (compared to third world countries at least), generous government benefits, and many laws designed to protect the common people.

It’s just that there are key elements of life, society and culture in the modern USA that I find intolerable and incompatible with who I am. Here are some of the main ones:

1) People are generally anti-social, don’t talk to strangers, don’t know their neighbors, and have an isolation mentality that makes them PREFER being alone. Thus, it is hard, unnatural and “against the grain” to try to meet people in America. (Yet ironically, if you have no social life, you are considered a “loser”; That’s what I call being caught between a rock and a hard place) If you go out alone, you tend to STAY alone. And of course, you are expected to enjoy being that way. So if you are a person who needs others or is dependent, then you may have a perpetual problem and get told there is something wrong with you, finding little sympathy. Those who are anti-social themselves or overly individualistic don’t mind this as much though, since anti-social people don’t mind others being the same way. But those who are very social like me will have a problem with it, and feel out of place. Even when people are forced to interact with others in social situations, they tend to act fake, polite and distant, which is reflective of their isolation mentality. Also, the average person only meets people through school, work, or mutual friends, and thus their social life is confined within a very small circle their whole life. So, if there are no women you are attracted to in your social circle or clique, (assuming there are females in your clique) or who are attracted to you, then you are screwed (not physically either, unless you go to a whore) in the dating arena. Thank God that the internet is helping to change this, but I should add that you don’t tend to meet quality people online in the USA but you do abroad.

2) The lifestyle consists of working to death just to survive, and pay off bills and debt. “I owe, I owe, I owe so off to work I go” is the mantra of the middle class lifestyle, as one expat put it. However, freespirits like me tend to view the purpose of life as simply to “enjoy it” through enriching experiences while growing in self-expression, not to suffer and toil to death. Thus, our attitude is “against the grain” here. Many see making money as the highest goal or aspiration, and are willing to sacrifice every aspect of existence for it, including their precious time, health, heart and soul. Few people know how to truly enjoy life or even have fun. Even at parties, people mostly talk about their work and profession. Also, the pleasures and entertainment most people indulge in are artificial and commercial in nature, rather than soulful and natural. And romance has decreased in the collective mentality and culture to almost nil.

3) The US news media, in particular the network corporate news media (e.g. CNN, ABC, NBC, Newsweek, Time Magazine), is very unintellectual and possesses no insight at all. It rarely hosts or broadcasts any deep thought-provoking or meaningful discussions. Instead, they either attempt to instill fear and paranoia in you with reports of disasters and tragedies, implying that the only “important news” is “bad news”, which I strongly disagree with. I’ve never understood what good they think comes out of telling everyone “bad news”. Nor do I understand why “bad news sells” since it doesn’t “sell” to me. (Maybe I’m just weird) Or they constantly try to distract you and waste your time with mind numbing trashy content, covering trivial stories that are completely useless and irrelevant to the average person’s daily life. In the process they waste billions of dollars of expensive broadcast air time which could be used to cover meaningful and higher quality content instead. Rarely do they cover anything useful, enlightening, meaningful or positive that can change your life for the better. Thus, a person seeking to expand his/her mind, soul or cultural awareness will get absolutely nothing from the US network media, except maybe an insult to his/her intelligence. I hear far better discussions about world events and how things really are in pubs and youth hostels than on TV. The US media assumes that viewers are dumb and address the audience as though they were talking to “lemmings”, which to me is insulting as well as a waste of my time, contributing nothing to my rich inner world at all. In fact, every time I turn on the news, I feel that it’s constantly trying to “dumb me down”. Thank God that there’s PBS, the Discovery Channel, and the History Channel which have far more respect for viewer intelligence, or else I wouldn’t watch cable TV. That juvenile computer hacker helping Bruce Willis in the movie “Die Hard 4” put it well when he said, “The news wants you to live in fear, so that you will feel empty and consume useless junk.”

4) The women in general are extremely anti-social (unless they are old, unattractive or very poor), do not like to meet people, have a deep subconscious hatred of men, do not need men, do not even need the company of others, set standards that almost no man can meet, have a sense of entitlement that is off the chart, are unromantic, unsensual, untender, and very unfeminine in their attitude, looks/dress, personality and behavior. And if you add the qualities in number 1 to this, it gets even worse, so you realize that trying to meet or date women in the US can be a total nightmare, and an exercise in futility. As a result, there are too many men, including me, who become couch potatoes, overeating and masturbating, having no choice. In short, the women simply don’t want to meet you, and there’s not much you can do about it.

Now, since meeting and dating beautiful women is one of my biggest passions in life, one I can’t live without, the conditions of number 4 are a BIG NO-NO, intolerable and totally unacceptable. Thus we have a problem. Some men can tolerate it, but not me. Being dateless and sexless is one of the three things in life I can’t stand (the other two being fatal heights and early mornings) but alas, dateless and sexless is what I am in America, no matter how hard I try to change it. And since I love to socialize, have quality conversations, and meet quality people, number 1 is a big no-no too, leaving me lonely and bored.

Number 2 and 3 are more tolerable (despite the title of this chapter) for they can be avoided or worked around through alternative choices and lifestyles. But still, they attempt to invalidate me, for the US media assumes by default that its viewers are unintellectual, conformists to the workaholic rat race consumerist lifestyle, and think within a very narrow box. If you are a freethinker or freespirit who thinks outside the box, then you don’t exist to the US media, and thus are invalidated.

Furthermore, as mentioned in number 2, many see making money as the highest purpose or aspiration in life, and for them, American offers them great opportunities to achieve their highest goal. But no true intellectual would set that as the highest aim. Thus, the US lifestyle offers little for the true intellectual or freespirit like me, and in fact, who they are tends to go “against the flow” of society.

Anyhow, because of number 4 and 1, there are just too many lonely depressed men who become couch potatoes, eating potato chips, watching TV, and masturbating when horny, cause they have no other choice. But who is trying to help them? Definitely not the US media. Only a few resources are, such as me and my website. But unlike some sources, I am not full of any BS, but a truth seeker who tells it like it is. That you can count on.


Strange contradiction in US social life - Between a rock and a hard place

What’s ironic is that the US social atmosphere is inherently anti-social and isolationist so that trying to meet people goes “against the grain”, yet if you have no social or dating life, you are considered a “loser” and told that there is something wrong with you. That is a strange contradiction that puts one between a rock and a hard place. It doesn’t make sense, and is both illogical and weird. In an anti-social isolationist culture, shouldn’t it be more “normal” to not have a social life than to have one?